


As if we would ever

by MeadowHayle



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Babies, Ben is a writer, Best Friends, Co-Parenting, Dominance, Dry Humping, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Impregnation Kink, Leia takes things a bit too far, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Reylo AU Week, Reylo AU Week 2018, Spanking, Surrogate mother, Teasing, and now kiss, how many tropes can I put in one fic, talk about co-parenting, the paintrain has arrived, there will be smut, they are both idiots, virgin!ben, virgin!rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2019-06-30 03:32:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15743367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeadowHayle/pseuds/MeadowHayle
Summary: "You and Rey would make pretty babies. Why don’t you simply ask her?”Being secretly in love with your best friend can be pretty exhausting at times. Ben and Rey are both unwilling to open up about their true feelings. But when the idea of co-parenting comes up, they are actually not as uninterested as it seems.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this first chapter for Reylo AU week and I hope you like it. This has been in my head for some time and I'm really happy about writing it. 
> 
> Sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes.  
> English is not my mother tongue.

Rey left the office at 5 o’clock on a sunny Friday. The air was pleasantly warm and perfect for a dinner outside. Grinning to herself she slid into her car and pulled out her phone to order food from her favourite Chinese restaurant. Then she sent a text to Ben instructing him to prepare the table on his backyard and slid the phone back into her handbag. The drive to his house was fifteen minutes long and all the way she kept her radio on full volume, singing loudly to some hits from the 80s.  
When she parked her car in front of the familiar, pretty house she sighed and took a minute to herself before stepping out. She loved the weekends simply because they always spend them together and she wouldn’t want it any other way. Fishing for her phone again she saw that Ben hadn’t replied, but instead Leia had left her several messages. Quickly reading them, she realized that Ben was probably still working. He always lost track of time, when in thoughts. Shaking her head she finally left the car and went to the front door, opening it with her spare key.

„Ben?“ her voice echoed through the hallway and made him look up from his notebook. He had been working on a new book idea for the last two hours or so and was so deep in thought that he had totally forgotten about Rey.

“Yes? I’m in the living room.” He put his pen down and adjusted his sitting position at the table.

“Hey, did you read my texts? I ordered food. It will be here soon.” She glanced at her wristwatch, before looking back at him. “It’s such nice weather I thought we could eat outside.”

Not waiting for him to answer she went into the kitchen and got plates and cutlery.  
“Would you get glasses and something to drink?”  
He was already on his way and nodded as he passed her. “Any preferences?”  
Rey turned around and bit her lip.

“Actually, I’m not really in the mood for alcohol so feel free to grab some iced tea or something.” She went outside and set the table. His terrace was beautiful and his garden even more so. Mainly because she kept it that way, but she wasn’t one to brag. He came to stand next to her and put two glasses and a bottle of cold iced tea on the table. Rey turned to look at him and smiled.

“Your mom texted me. She said you aren’t replying to her texts.”

Ben sighed, his annoyance obvious to her.

“She wants to know if it’s only us at her garden party next week or if someone else is coming as well. She didn’t say it, but I think she means a girlfriend.” She pulled one of the wooden chairs out and took a seat.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Of course she does. This woman really needs a hobby,” he murmured and reached into his pocket to fetch his phone and reply to his mother’s texts.  
Rey grinned. “You know, I thought maybe we should just invite the whole gang. Poe has been wanting to meet your mom since forever and if we arrive there with five more people she might never ask you to bring someone with you again.”

Ben looked up and smiled at her in a way that made her belly feel full of butterflies.

“You are brilliant.”

Rey made a noise and blushed.

“It’s not like your mom is doing this to annoy you. She just wants to see you settled and in a happy relationship. It is what moms are supposed to worry about.”

Ben finished typing and looked at his best friend for six years now. Hitting send he shook his head. He knew that Rey craved the idea of a happy family, which was why she was eager to become friends with his parents and everyone else she met. It was obvious to him that the people around him stayed because of her and not him. She was light, pure and bright and contagious.

“If you knew what my mom had been on about recently you wouldn’t talk so highly about her.”

“What do you mean?” She cocked her pretty head and Ben supressed a sigh. Why was she so damn beautiful?

They had met in literature class, both interested in writing, but actually rivals, because both of them were top students. After some interactions however they had realized that they both had something in common. Loneliness. They had started being friends after working together on an assignment and never fought again – except on which movie they were going to watch. Despite the age gap they had clicked and ever since they had been inseparable.

“It’s not that interesting, really.”

Crossing her hands in front of her breast she stared at him and he knew that expression all to well. She wasn’t going to let this one pass.

“Tell me.”

He looked at her and regretted mentioning it. She wouldn’t be pleased if she knew what Leia had been talking about with him. He couldn’t predict her reaction, but he knew it was a stupid idea to tell her. She would either call Leia nuts or kiss him on the spot and declare her undying love for him. Yeah, right. Sometimes he felt like an idiot for getting his hopes up.

Like a sign from heaven the doorbell rang at the exact moment he opened his mouth to answer her. Without hesitation he turned around and got the food hoping she would have forgotten about it by the time he got back.

She hadn’t. As they sorted through the order and placed food on their plates she eyed him expectantly.

“So?”

“It will get cold, if we don’t eat now,” he argued and Rey motioned with her chopsticks that she was watching him, but dug in immediately afterwards. They ate in silence and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something important was going on. Why couldn’t he just tell her, what Leia had said? Did she say something about her? Surely not. The older woman had always treated her kindly and as though she was her own child. Still her friend’s reaction worried her, but she tried to concentrate on the positive feeling of the weekend ahead.

When their plates were empty, she took a sip from her iced tea and let out a noise of satisfaction. She felt a bit sleepy and decided that they would definitely do a Netflix marathon instead of heading out. She was getting too old to party anyways and Poe and the rest of the gang were busy today.

“So, Solo. What did you not want to tell me?” she asked and looked at him. He ran his hand through his hair and huffed. No way to back out now.

“You remember the last time we were at my parents house?” he started and his friend nodded eagerly.

“When you were in the garage with my dad, my mom started talking about how it was time for me to finally give her the grandchildren she was craving so badly. Obviously I told her that I’m not seeing anyone and that there won’t be any children any time soon.”

He swallowed and Rey reached up to open her hair. He thought she was beautiful like this. In fact she was beautiful no matter what she wore or did with her hair. Even a potato sack would have made her look like a princess. He was so pathetic.

“So, my mom suddenly started talking about how I could always use a surrogate mother and I was already thinking, how the hell did she get this idea? And she rambles on about how this of course would be a long process and it would cost a lot of money, so instead of that she suggested I should just ask you to have my children. I think her exact words were: You and Rey would make pretty babies. Why don’t you simply ask her?”

He heard her breath catch before he saw the shock on her face. He couldn’t blame her. The idea had even struck a nerve with him and he actually wanted children with her, had for years. But there was no way he would ever act on his feelings for her. She was his best friend, the only person who was constantly there for him and he would not be able to keep on living if she left him, because she couldn’t handle his feelings for her. Actually he already felt stupid for telling her this story. Hopefully she wouldn’t ask why Leia had thought of her.

“Yeah, imagine my surprise,” he scratched the back of his neck, when she still didn’t react.

Rey seemed to have lost her voice. She was gaping at him like a dead fish.

“As if we would ever…” he motioned between them and trailed of. Seriously he needed her to say something. He was slowly starting to feel anxiety rise. He wanted her to laugh about it and agree with him about how crazy it would be. How this was the worst thing Leia had ever come up with, but instead she blinked twice and looked at him, clearing her throat.

“Yes, I mean... It’s totally nuts.”

Relief and sadness flooded him at the same time.

“She does have a point, though. Our children would be the cutest.” A small smile formed on her lips as though she was imagining it. If he hadn’t been head over hells for her already, this would have sealed the deal for him.

“And I mean even if we aren’t romantically involved co-parenting really is a thing nowadays.” Rey shrugged.

His throat felt dry out of the sudden. Swallowing didn’t seem to help. Nervously he grabbed his glass and drowned the contents.

His ears were ringing. Surely Rey, his Rey, wasn’t saying that them having a child together might be a good idea? He was misinterpreting her reaction. That was it. There was no way in hell-

“Wait a second. Are you telling me this, because you actually want to ask me?”

He swallowed again. Why hadn’t he brought alcohol? He could have blamed it on the intoxication, but now…

“No I thought you would think it laughable…so…I didn’t even think about it.” Okay, maybe lying was a thing he had gotten better at. He had nearly convinced himself with this one.

“Hm.”

Rey’s eyes were trained on her hands and it took a few seconds before she said something else.

“I don’t think it’s laughable, Ben.” Her voice was soft, but he had heard her clearly. His eyes were wide as saucers and looked so hopeful, that she nearly contemplated not going on with what she was about to say.

“But I wouldn’t want to interfere with your current relationship.”

Ben scoffed. “I don’t have a current relationship, Rey.”

She looked at him, eyebrow raised. “You know what I am talking about.”

Ben pursed his lower lip in a way he always did when he was frustrated.

Damn her for finding his poems. He had hidden them very well, at least that’s what he had thought. But Rey in her cheery way of rummaging through all his belongings as if they were hers had found them. She had started reading and had declared his poems about her to be the most beautiful work of all time. Ironically she had never known they were about her and simply assumed he was interested in some nameless girl.

_They are about you_ , he wanted to scream, but instead he shook his head.

“They are just poems, okay? You won’t interfere with anyone. I did not have a relationship in all the years we have known each other and it will continue like that.” His voice sounded rough. Rey observed him a little longer than necessary, eyes uncertain.

“You can’t know that.”

_Yes I can._

“Why are we even arguing about this? It’s not like we will actually have a child together,” he said and regretted his words instantly. They tasted bitter and he was sure they also sounded that way.

Rey stood up abruptly.

“You are right. We won’t.”

Without another word she grabbed their plates and went inside, leaving Ben on the terrace to deal with his own feelings of hurt and frustration, while she locked herself in the bathroom, trying not to burst into tears.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol might not be the solution, but it helps.

After clearing the table and cleaning the dishes Ben had waited for Rey. She had gone to the bathroom without another word and he had wanted nothing more than to kick himself for being so stupid.  
They never fought. Never. They had discussions and sometimes they were frustrated at the other, which was also the case now, but there was a certain edge to the atmosphere that made him think, he had seriously messed up. After ten minutes Rey still didn’t make a move to come out and Ben started to worry even more. He had to talk to her, to apologize for snapping. 

“Rey?” 

Knocking on the bathroom door, he waited and nervously ran his hands through his hair. Of course it was his fault for even bringing the topic up. He shouldn’t have mentioned it. What did he expect?  
She was his best friend and they were perfect together, but she simply didn’t see him in a romantic way and that meant, that they also wouldn’t have a child together, because it was way to intimate. He had to live with that. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” he tried again and this time the bathroom door opened and the woman he loved stepped outside. She had slightly red-rimmed eyes and a red face from blowing her nose. Ben felt his heart sink. 

He had made her cry. 

“I’m so sor-“

She held a hand up and gave him a sad smile.

“No, you were right. I’m just a bit hormonal at the moment.” She went past him and sat down on his sofa. Ben didn’t look convinced as he followed her and Rey felt his gaze on her.

“Please, don’t worry. Everything is fine. I don’t know where this came from. Let’s just drop the whole topic and not talk about it anymore.” She suggested and Ben frowned.  
She had cried about it. Ben couldn’t help but feel as though he was missing something. Rey rarely cried. She had cried ones, when she had told him about her parents and once when she had accidentally run over a cat. Other than that he couldn’t remember her ever crying in his presence and never over something they had discussed. Chewing at his bottom lip he tried to find a solution for this awkward situation. 

“We don’t have to talk about it now, but if you ever want to, we will.” They nodded at each other and Rey smiled at him. It was a real smile and Ben relaxed slightly. Together they went into the living room and Rey sat down on his couch.

“Let’s forget about it. I don’t want to be grumpy on the weekend. We still have to finish Stranger Things and we wanted to watch this new series,” she suggested and turned on the TV. Ben smiled at her and nodded before getting them something to drink. After handing Rey a big glass of liquid he made himself more comfortable on the couch. 

They started watching Stranger Things, but Ben didn’t pay much attention. His head was playing a loop of the scene he had just been part in. From Rey coming home to her opening the bathroom door.  
Something like this had never happened before. They would usually make sarcastic jokes and be so comfy with each other that most people thought they were a couple. Rey would light up the room with her smile and wonderful laughs and he would sit next to her and bask in her sunny attitude. 

Now they were trying to act normal, but he felt agitated. Rey was trying to play it down as if it wasn’t a big deal that she had cried her eyes out in his bathroom and he seemed to have swallowed his tongue, not daring to say something wrong. 

After a while Rey paused the episode and went to the bathroom again. Ben took the time to let out a breath he had been holding. What was wrong with him? He had to repair his friendship. Something needed to be done.  
He stood up, straightening his clothes and turned around when Rey came back into the room. She looked at him questioningly and went to sit down, but before she even reached her spot, Ben grabbed her and embraced her in a much-needed hug.

Rey let out a sigh and relaxed in her tall friends embrace. Slowly wrapping her arms around him as well, she breathed in his scent and enjoyed his closeness.  
Ben’s hugs always calmed her and she was happy he had initiated the contact. After her bathroom fiasco she had wanted to slap herself for over reacting. Of course he would want to know why she had been crying. So she had lied to him. 

How could she tell him, that she wanted to be with him? That having his child would be a dream come true? He clearly didn’t want her like that and to be honest she was amazed that in all the years he had never once brought a girlfriend home. Rey had to admit that was a fear that sometimes even haunted her in her dreams, him being happy with someone else and leaving her behind. They had promised each other to never be alone again, but what if he fell in love? She would be alone then.  
Sure she had other friends, but would Rose binge watch all Star Wars movies with her and then discuss for hours which trilogy was better? Would she hug her and sing her to sleep when she needed it? Would she come over late at night because a big spider was hiding behind the wardrobe and Rey just couldn’t go to sleep while it was in the same room as her? 

Because Ben would. 

Ben was always there when Rey needed him and he never expected something from her in return.  
Sometimes his selfless behaviour was too much for her. She felt like she was using him, maybe even sabotaging his life. If she wouldn’t be there all the time maybe he would go out more and actually find someone to love like she loved him. But every time she made up her mind to finally let him go he would do something simple, like wink at her and suddenly it was like she was falling in love with him all over again. 

Dropping her hands she let go of him. “I think some alcohol might be nice,” she said and Ben couldn’t move fast enough.  
“I couldn’t agree more.” He went past her and came back with a variety of drinks. Rey went for some wine and they both sat back down on the couch and turned the series back on. 

Three episodes later they were both slumped on the couch, neither of them actually clear enough to follow the story anymore. Ben was currently playing a mobile game while Rey nearly fell asleep every five minutes.  
When the episode finally ended Ben sighed and put down his phone to turn off the TV. Rey adjusted her seating position and rubbed her eyes. A few seconds followed in which they both just looked at each other and Rey yawned a few times.

“I’m still sorry about how our conversation earlier went,” Ben said and scratched his head. Rey shrugged and looked at her lap. 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it now… and we are both probably to drunk to remember this tomorrow, but… I just want you to know, that if I ever had to choose a surrogate mother, you would be my first choice. Always.”  
His eyes were sincere and Rey felt herself blush, but she was to drunk to care about her body’s reaction. 

“We would make beautiful babies,” she lulled.

Ben grinned. 

“Yes, we would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end my friends. In fact I have about fifteen more chapters planned. Give or take.  
> I hope you enjoyed it, even though this was a short chapter. I'm not sure how frequently I will update, but you'll see. Have a nice day :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's garden party time and things are still not back to normal for Ben and Rey.

 

 

The next morning was horrible. They were both hung over, had a headache and were not talk-active at all. Rey had slept in Ben’s guest room as usual, because they had originally planned on spending the day together. Seeing how wasted they both were however, Rey excused herself around noon and drove home when her head felt better. It was the first weekend they spend without each other in a long time and Rey and Ben both felt miserable in their own way.

 

The week turned out to be a disaster as well. Ben didn’t write a single page, but not for the lack of trying. He had a deadline for his next chapter and desperately wanted to finish it, but working just didn’t go well with his emotional state of mind and in the end he ended up going to gym more frequently to get some stress out of his system.

 

Rey wasn’t any happier. At work she suddenly felt bored and barely paid attention in meetings. It went so far that her friend Rose, who worked with her, noticed and started asking her if everything was all right.

 

 _I just messed up my relationship with my best friend_ , Rey thought. _Does that sound like I am all right?_

 

Instead she nodded and invited her to Leia’s Garden party, just like Ben and her had agreed on.

 

 

Saturday came sooner than Rey wanted to. She was happy to see Ben, but at the same time she dreaded it. Would things ever be normal between them again? She felt as though they had stepped into the right direction again, but now their lack of contact was agonizing and she didn’t know how he would act, when they saw each other again.

 

Dressing herself in a simple summer dress and woollen jacket, she got ready for Leia’s party. She knew that some friends and work colleagues of Leia would attend and while she wasn't trying to impress anyone she wanted to look presentable. Looking at herself in the mirror she decided not to put on heels, since a garden party usually meant grass and grass meant heels would just get stuck in the ground. Instead she went for a cute pair of flats, that she had recently bought, while shopping with Rose and put on some natural make up.

 

When she parked her car in front of the neat house the others were already waiting for her. Poe was tapping with his finger on his wrist to signal her lack of being on point and since she was usually the one who was late it was something she had gotten used to. Shrugging she went to greet her friends and they let out some comments about how nice it was that they met again after nearly a month of not seeing each other.

 

“Peanut, we should definitely party next weekend. There is this 90s event at the club we were last time,” Finn started and Rose rolled her eyes, while giving her friend a hug.

 

“You and your 90s,” the dark haired girl said and gave Rey a thumbs up, when she noticed the shoes she was wearing. 

 

“We were just about to go in without you. You made us wait for nearly ten minutes,” Poe said, eyes trained on her.

 

Rey put the back of her hand on her forehead.

 

“Oh no, ten minutes. However did you make it so long without me.”

 

The others chuckled and Ben smiled at her. They were all dressed nicely and Rose even carried a self-made salad with her. Ben had chosen to wear a dark blue sweatshirt, instead of his usually black attire and Rey immediately noticed that his hug was more stiff than usual. Still she tried to play it down and acted as if everything was normal as they headed to the house.

They only had to wait a few seconds before the front door opened and a happy woman came to greet them.

 

“My child has come to visit me. To what do I owe this pleasure?” Leia said when they came in and hugged Ben, who only rolled his eyes.

 

“Hi, mom.”

 

“And my darling Rey. It’s so good to see you.” She hugged Rey as well, before turning to the others.

 

“And you brought your friends like you said you would. Thank you all for coming. There is food in the backyard. Refrigerated drinks are in the kitchen. I would love to get to know all of you, but I have to check on Han quickly. I’m not sure how well he is handling the grill, because Chewie just arrived and the both of them are probably talking. So...I have to go and check on the meat.”

 

Quickly excusing herself, the older woman turned around and went outside, leaving Ben, Rey and the others to tend to themselves. Rose smiled into the round and went after her, still carrying the salad. Hux excused himself to use the bathroom and Finn, Poe and Phasma snuck into the kitchen to get some beer.

 

Ben and Rey stood in the hallway a few seconds longer, looking at each other. No one dared to move, both words on the tip of their tongues. It was Ben who finally said something.

 

“I hate how we left things last weekend. I wanted to talk to you during the week, but I just- I don’t know. I guess I was afraid to make things worse.“

 

“Ben, I-“

 

“Peanut, they have this really cool European beer here. You have to try it!” Finn said coming into the hallway. Phasma was close behind him.

 

“He is exaggerating. It actually isn’t that great.”

 

“Hey, you only had one sip. Who are you to judge?” He showed her the bottle and looked expectantly.

 

Rey frowned.

 

“You know, I’m actually not in the mood for alcohol. I had to much last weekend.”

 

Now that caught Phasma’s attention and she took a step towards them a curious expression on her face. “Wait a sec. So you and Solo both got drunk and nobody invited us?”

 

Rey blushed nervously.

 

“No, it wasn’t like that. We had a movie night and simply drank a bit too much.”

 

Phasma looked at them with a stern expression.

 

“Boring. That sounds like the beginning of a bad movie. But from the looks of the both of you, you didn’t fuck. So I’m out.”

 

She turned around and headed for the garden, leaving a red-faced Rey, a confused looking Finn and a headshaking Ben behind. Hux took the moment to join them again and Poe came out of the kitchen, clutching two bottles of ice-cold beer.

 

“Who wants some?” he asked holding the bottles up and Hux grabbed one, while Ben declined.

 

“So, what are we all standing in here? Let’s get going.” Sometimes Ben just wanted to punch Poe for his enthusiasm. But as Rey nodded and walked outside with the others, Ben realized she didn’t want to talk right now. So instead he tugged along and started a conversation with Hux about work. Their boss, Snoke, was being an ass as usual and even Hux, who had always praised the man, was starting to see it.

 

Time seemed to fly. After two hours of being there Ben had talked to nearly everyone at the party. Even Maz had been there and had told him to come visit her more often. Just as he was talking to Finn and Rose again, Leia came to them and touched Ben’s arm to get his attention.

 

“Could you come with me for a minute. I have someone I’d like for you to meet,” she said and waited for Ben to nod until she turned around and went ahead. He followed her into the house, where it was much calmer, since most of the guests were outside.

In the living room a young, blonde woman waited and smiled at him when he entered.

 

“Ben, this is Kaydel. I know last time we talked about it, it was just an idea, but I did some research and found Kaydel and she was so nice to visit today to explain everything to you.”

 

There was a weird sinking feeling at the back of his head. Whenever his mom planned something it was usually a disaster. Was she a blind date his mother had arranged yet again? He didn’t really know what she was talking about. That was until the woman opened her mouth.

 

“Yes, well. I’m a surrogate and I offer the use of my eggs as well as carrying and delivering the child.”

 

The colour drained from his face.

 

This just couldn’t be real.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big decisions!

Rey enjoyed herself. Even though Ben and her hadn’t talked yet, it was a nice afternoon and she spent her time talking with Han and Chewie, as well as Maz. The old lady was really intriguing and had given her some interesting pieces of wisdom to think about.

Now that it was getting late though she felt that it was time for her to talk to Ben. She wouldn’t leave today without apologizing. She wanted her best friend back, even if that meant to bury all her romantic feelings for him. Weekends without him sucked.

 

“Have you seen, Ben?” Rey asked as she passed Rose and Finn. The two of them were sipping on some cocktails and enjoying the warm weather.

 

Rose nodded. “He just went inside with Leia.”

 

 

Grateful for the information Rey thanked her friend and made her way inside as well. The house was quiet when she entered and just as she was about to call for him, she heard voices from the living room. Walking closer she stopped abruptly at what she heard.

 

“…well. I’m a surrogate and I offer the use of my eggs as well as carrying and delivering the child.”

 

Rey froze.

 

What the heck? No. Just no.

 

Her heart clenched at the thought of another woman pregnant with Ben’s child.

 

Like a deer in the forest she stood still, waiting for his answer.

 

“Kaydel, I’m very sorry my mother made you come here. I’m not interested-“

 

Good answer, Rey thought and calmed a bit.

 

“Ben!” Leia chimed in. “You are 36 and you told me yourself you are ready for children. Don’t you think it’s time to do something about it?”

 

Rey swallowed. He was ready for children? Why hadn’t he mentioned that when they had talked about it? Was that something that was too private for him to tell her?

A thought occurred her. Maybe that was why he had even mentioned what Leia had said. Collecting herself she shook her head. There was enough time to think about this later, now she had to pay attention.

 

“It hasn’t slipped my mind. Thank you for the reminder, though.”

 

Leia’s voice was more tender now.

 

“I know that you want to settle down and have a family. But, Ben let’s face it. It’s not going to happen. And in ten years you’ll regret not taking the chance. There is no other way at the moment and I think you should really think about it. Or are you going to tell me you are actually not in need of a surrogate mother?”

 

Rey couldn’t wait any longer. It was now or never. With a swift move she entered the living room and saw Ben’s head whip around into her direction. His expression was guarded, but she saw the panic in his eyes as well as the silent plea for help.

 

“Sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation,” Rey started with a forced smile and came to stand close to him. Everyone in the room was starring at her now and she felt slightly nervous, but this just needed to be done.

 

“In fact we talked about the whole baby thing.”

 

Leia looked flabbergasted. “Really?”

 

Ben looked confused at first, but then swallowed and nodded.

 

“Yes, indeed.”

 

Leia’s eyes widened and Kaydel simply smiled politely, looking slightly lost.

 

“And?” Ben’s mother pressed on.

 

Rey glanced at him before looking at Leia again.

 

“I’m willing to have his child, if that is what he wants.”

 

There was a high-pitched squeal and the grin on Leia’s face was unlike anything Rey had ever seen. The older woman came to hug her and when she pulled back, there were actual tears in her eyes.

 

“I’m so happy for you. Finally a grandchild! And the two of you will be exceptional parents. I just know it.” She briefly patted Ben on the shoulder and turned around to Kaydel.

 

“I’m sorry for taking your time. If I had known…”

 

Rey didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation. Her adrenaline had had a peak, when she had said what Leia had wanted to hear and now she just hoped that she hadn’t destroyed her relationship with Ben.

Careful she looked at him and he stared right back at her. But instead of the anger she expected there was only uncertainty on his face.

 

“Rey, are you serious or was this just your way of helping me out of the situation?” he asked calmly once Leia and Kaydel were out of the room.

 

Rey bit her lip.

 

“No, I meant it. I will have your child, if that’s what you want.”

 

Ben frowned, but seemed to contemplate it.

 

“Are you sure that is what you want? You are still young. You have the chance to…” It pained him to say it. “…meet someone and have a family yourself.”

 

Rey sighed. This again. If she could somehow reassure him that there was no one else for her…

 

“You are all the family I need and I want this. I’m ready for a child. We are spending most of our free time together anyways, so why shouldn’t we be co-parents?”

 

Ben licked his lips and stared at his feet.

 

“I… I just want to make sure we won’t regret this in the end. I think we need some time to comprehend this. Can I talk to you later?”

 

Understanding that this was a big decision for him she nodded and left for the garden again. The world suddenly looking a lot brighter than it had for the past week. She felt elated, hopeful and excited at the same time. Having a child with him was a dream come true. Hopefully he would agree to her offer. Maybe once she was pregnant his feelings for her would grow and become more romantically. She knew it was just wishful thinking, but there was a slight possibility and she just couldn't help herself. Feeling content she headed towards her friends and smiled as if nothing had happened inside.

 

 

When Leia came back after showing Kaydel out Ben crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave her a look she knew all to well. He was angry at his mother for pulling yet another stunt to sabotage his life and interfere with his future.

 

“You overstepped a line there. You realize that, don’t you?”

 

His mother had an expression on her face that he didn’t quite recognize, but when she sighed it sounded regretful.

 

“Yes, Ben. I know.”

 

She walked closer to him and touched his arm affectionately.

  
“I did that on purpose to get Rey to react.”

 

Stunned he looked at her.

 

“To be honest I didn’t think she would overhear the conversation, but I thought once she realized how serious you are about this, she might say something.”

 

“Mother, are you insane? What kind of a plan is that? How could you even know Rey would offer?”

 

Leia shrugged.

 

“I had a feeling. I see the way she looks at you,” she said simply as though that was all the explanation, that was needed.

 

Ben shook his head in disbelieve.

 

“I... Promise me something like that won’t happen again,” he said and Leia nodded reluctantly.

 

 

 

“Dad, can I talk to you for a second?”

 

Han turned around, surprise visible on his face. He and Ben weren’t known to be big when it came to talking and Ben honestly couldn’t remember the last time they said more than five words to each other.

 

“Sure, kid.”

 

They went into the garage and Ben made sure to check if someone was within range before turning to his father.

 

“Did you know mom invited a surrogate mother for me?”

 

Han groaned and nodded. “She told me about it, but I told her not to go through with it. That woman is to stubborn for her own good.”

 

Ben nodded. At least one of his parents had something like common sense.

 

“Yeah, well. The thing is, because of that Rey agreed to have my child.”

 

Han, who had just taken a sip from his bottle, nearly choked on his beer.

 

“She what?”

 

“We talked about co-parenting before, but it was really just an idea and nothing more... She is still young and she might regret it later.”

 

His father nodded. “Understandable.”

 

“But now she made it clear that that’s something she wants and I can’t help but feel like I’m using her, if I agree to it.”

 

Han sighed. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but that girl likes you a lot. I think if you asked her out she would say yes.”

 

Ben scrolled. “You are wrong. She doesn’t see me as more than her best friend.”

 

Han shrugged. “We’ll see.”

 

“Still, that doesn’t help me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t possibly co-parent a child with her, be her best friend and still secretly love her. What if she actually meets someone? I don’t have any right to step in then and say something, even though she is the mother of my child. And what if she finds out about my feelings? What if she doesn’t? If we go this way I can’t ever declare my feelings for her. Our relationship would be destroyed…”

 

“Did they teach you how to worry about things at university?” Han shook his head.

 

“You want to know how I see it?”

 

Ben nodded.

 

“The woman you love is your best friend and wants to become the mother of your child which means that you’ll be spending even more time together. There is no better chance to win her heart than by getting her pregnant. Except if you save the galaxy, but let’s be honest, someone with your skills doesn’t really have the means for that.”

 

Ben rolled his eyes. Of course Han would find the time to make Star Wars reference. It was his favourite fandom of all time.

 

“With all these pregnancy hormones and shit, women are easily persuaded. Plus you can touch her more. Give her a back massage, talk to the child in her womb. Those are very intimate moments and you can use them to your advantage. Suggest her to move in with you, for the child’s sake. Seduce her, if you must. I promise you. You’ll have her eating out of your hand in no time.”

 

That he was stunned was the understatement of the year. Now he realized for the first time, why exactly his father was considered a player by so many people. He was smart. Damn smart.

 

“That’s… actually a good idea.”

 

Han shrugged and took a sip of his beer.

 

“Of course.”

 

 

It was getting dark when Ben finally made it out of the house and went to see Rey in the backyard. Most people had already left. Even their friends had excused themselves one after the other. Only Poe was left and he was currently talking to Leia quite animatedly.

 

Rey was sitting by the pond a glass of apple juice in her hand. When she saw him approach she straightened and gave him a smile.

 

“Hi.”

 

Her eyes trailed over his face before she looked down at her glass again.

 

“Have you thought about it?”

 

Ben nodded. Were they crazy for doing this?

 

“I’m in, if you are.”

 

There was a smile starting to form on her face and it turned into a wide grin, while she nodded. He swallowed soundly, trying to act as if he hadn’t just agreed to have a child with the woman he had secretly been in love with for years.

 

“Good, then I guess we are no longer speaking theoretically.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I'm so happy about all your friendly comments and kudos.  
> They really make my day. I hope you have fun reading this chapter.  
> Have a nice day!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They discuss the new arrangement over breakfast.

Her skin was soft as he trailed one of her breasts, the small globe fitting perfectly into his palm. She moaned as he took her nipple into his mouth. It was already hard and swollen and eager for his touch and he longed to touch her, more than words could describe.

The little sounds she was making were driving him crazy.

Dazed he let go of her breast with a popping sound and looked up into her face. Lust and love were written on it and he felt his stomach flutter under her hazel gaze. Working his way down her body he made a stop at her belly. It was swollen, her pregnancy obvious. Feeling pleased with himself he gave it a kiss and stroked her sides lovingly.

 

“I love you so much, Rey.”

 

Smiling she returned his look.

 

“Heaven help me.”

 

Frowning he looked at her and noticed how bright the room suddenly appeared. Before he could say anything else, he felt the room spin and woke up.

 

 

Light was streaming into his bedroom through the huge window facing his backyard and his mobile phone vibrated on his nightstand, playing the song Rey had picked for his alarm clock.

 

 _When you call my name it's like a little prayer_ _  
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there_

Sighing he pressed the button on his cell phone and rubbed his eyes. It had been a dream. A freaking dream.

 

He rarely had sexual dreams. Being a virgin and having no experience himself, the first-hand-material had always been missing, which was why his dreams rarely ventured into the explicit direction. Rubbing his face he checked the time. Two hours till he would go and meet Rey in the little café they sometimes ate breakfast at. After the party they had agreed to meet the next day and talk about the details of this arrangement.

 

He didn’t remember ever being so nervous in his life.

 

Rey having his child… His thoughts flickered back to the dream he just had and he found himself groaning. It wasn’t like they were actually going to have sex.

That didn’t help his erection straining against his briefs though, his cock twitching happily at the idea of impregnating Rey the traditional way.

 

Since his problem didn’t deflate even after he had left the bed and went to take a shower, he had to help himself out of the situation. He usually masturbated on a regular basis, but he hadn’t done so in a while now, which was probably the reason why he was so worked up, after his dream about Rey.

Standing under the stream he grabbed himself with a sigh and let his mind finish what the dream had started.

Images of a pregnant Rey moaning underneath him, grinding against him and telling him she loved him were enough to push him over the edge. Afterwards he quickly cleaned himself and stood underneath the shower for five more minutes, enjoying the warmth and trying to ignore the feeling of longing in his chest.

 

 

When he arrived at the café Rey was already there, smiling brightly at him and waving. He felt a smile tug at his lips. His sunshine was back. Eager to talk to her, but also hungry he went and sat down opposite of her.

 

“Hi, have you ordered already?”

 

Rey shook her head.

 

“I wanted to wait for you, just in case you don’t order a black coffee and pancakes with blueberries as usual.”

 

Ben nodded.

 

“No, that sounds good. I’ll stick to it.”

 

Rey laughed and went to order their food. She had already tried half of the menu here and was always delighted to discover new tastes and combinations.

 

“Sooo…” she said when she came back. “I have done some research yesterday and there are a few points I want to talk to you about.”

 

“Of course.” He nodded. Obviously he had thought about a few things as well.

 

She took a notebook and a pencil out of her bag and flipped it open.

 

“I don’t want this to be complicated. Us being friends is probably the best thing ever, because we get along well and spend a lot of time together. We won’t be having that many issues with who sees the child when…you know?”

 

Ben nodded.

 

“Since I don’t have a family in the traditional sense I guess there will be less of an issue with holidays, special events, weekends. I just want us both to be able to care for our child the whole time.”

She sucked on her lower lip and Ben’s eyes caught the movement.

 

“We don’t live that far away from each other, so that is good. Maybe I have to change living arrangements later on. My flat doesn’t have space for a nursery, so I thought maybe we could use one of your spare rooms for the child?”

 

She waited until he nodded to continue.

  
“Also I’m sleeping at your house so often that I thought maybe I could make my stay in the guest room a bit more permanent for the pregnancy, but of course not forever.”

 

The look she gave him was guarded and she nervously tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

“Why not permanent?” Ben said and Rey looked at him flabbergasted.

“I mean… I have so much space up there that no one uses. We could put a nursery in one of the rooms and you could have your own room there as well.”

 

Hoping it wasn’t to forward and obvious that he longed to spend more time with her, he tried to convince her by stating facts.

 

“Now that I think about it, we could have done that years ago. I mean we hang out all the time anyways and your flat is way to expensive. We should be roommates.”

 

Rey looked at her hands.

 

“I…I’m not sure if-“

 

The waitress bringing their breakfast interrupted them and Rey smiled politely at her. A big bowl was placed in front of her as well as a cappuccino. Ben eyed his own food with an expression of hunger. When they were alone again, Rey took her spoon and sighed.

 

“I will think about it. That’s quite a big step, though. We’ve never lived together.”

 

Ben nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

 

“I understand. But I think in the end it might be beneficial for our child. We would all be living in the same house, eating meals together, spending free time together. It would nearly be like a real family, you know?”

 

Rey nodded, uncertainty still written on her face. He hated seeing her so lost. She was clearly anxious about the situation and he couldn’t blame her at all. He was just as nervous.

 

“Okay, I’ll write your idea down and as I said, I will think about it.”

 

He watched her while she scribbled something into her notebook and looked for the next point.

 

“Second issue: Money. My idea would be just splitting the costs 50/50.”

 

“No.”

 

Rey raised an eyebrow. Ben sighed and reached out to take her hand.

 

“Please don’t get me wrong, but I have more money than you and I’m the one who wanted the child in the first place. I feel as though it’s only fair that I cover most of the expenses. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to buy our child or make it more my child than yours. I just feel bad if you go through all of this for me and spend so much money.”

 

To his surprise she didn’t fight him on this one.

  
“Fine, but you can’t pay for everything. I want to pay some stuff myself as well.”

 

“Sure,” he said and dug into his pancakes, a pleased smile on his face.

 

Rey felt weird doing this. She had been overjoyed that she would get to have Ben’s baby, but yesterday evening she had realized what all of that implied. Moving in with him hadn’t been on her list of possible solutions especially because she feared he might bring someone home one day. If that happened she would be the odd one out. Then again maybe he would never fall in love with someone and she would spend her life with him, being a family. The thought warmed her insides.

The money was an actual problem for her. Even though she loved working at the resistance she didn’t earn that much. Her flat was expensive and she knew she didn’t have enough savings to afford a child.

So his suggestion to pay was actually good for her, even though she felt bad for being so okay with it.

 

When she finished her bowl, Ben was already drinking his second cup of coffee. He looked pleased and lot better than he had the last few days she had seen him. After agreeing to have a child they both had somehow become more relaxed again. The awkwardness was gone and had been replaced with excitement.

 

They had cleared most points on her list and Rey was happy that they seemed to agree in many cases. The most important thing however was something she had left till the very end.

 

“I went into online forums yesterday and looked up all this artificial insemination stuff and I won’t lie it’s pretty expensive and not something my insurance would cover.”

 

Ben nodded. “It’s okay. I’ll pay for it.”

 

Rey swallowed. “I knew you would say that. But there are other ways to do this. We could use a turkey baster for example.”

 

Her face was red already, but she kept talking.

 

“Also there is another issue with the whole thing, that I kinda knew, but didn’t really realize until after we agreed and…”

 

She stopped talking and a blush was already forming on her cheeks. Ben raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“Rey, spill it.”

 

She eyed her surrounding carefully before coming closer and lowering her voice.

 

“I’m a virgin.”

 

He sucked in a breath and simply stared at her for a few seconds.

 

“What?” His voice was a hiss.

 

“Are you for real? You agreed to have a child, even though you have never had sex before?”

 

Her blush deepened and she nodded slightly.

 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to do it, even if I don’t have sex beforehand,” she tried to reassure him, because she could hear the anger in his voice.

 

Ben buried his face in his hands and sighed.

 

“Rey, that’s… weird and horrible. I just can’t allow you to do that.”

 

She looked hurt for a second, but that expression soon turned into anger.

 

“I don’t need your permission to do this. It was actually nice of me to tell you. I could have simply said nothing and carried on with the whole arrangement.”

 

Contemplating her word he held up both of his hands.

 

“True. You are right. I don’t have a say in this. Still I feel as though I’m robbing you of this experience. I guess it’s not really the same after you had a child.”

 

Rey pursed her lips. She thought about the boys she had been on dates with before she had met Ben. They couldn’t hold a candle to him. He was the only one she wanted, but he didn’t want her.

 

“No, I guess not. But it’s not like I can quickly ask anyone to do it. I think I will remember my first time for a while and I would like it to be with someone I like.”

 

“Same here,” Ben agreed and rubbed his face.

 

“Wait, what do you mean?”

 

He stilled, looking at her.

 

“Just that I have never done it either.”

 

Her mouth dropped open and she eyed the older man in front of her.

 

“What? But you are…” _gorgeous_ “I mean… how? Are the woman your age blind?”

 

Ben snorted. “I could ask you the same question. And just to inform you: I didn’t really grow into my body until I was like 25 and by then I was more interested in my career.”

 

He shrugged and focused on his empty coffee cup. Rey herself was silent for a minute, both of them trying to cope with the situation. It was laughable, really.

Two virgins who were going to have a child, unless…

 

_I could ask you the same_

 

So he thought she was attractive? Eyeing him carefully she contemplated it. Did he find her attractive enough to…? Shaking her head, she blushed even more.

He liked her as a friend and maybe he even thought she was average looking, but nothing more. This was Ben. The man who had written the most beautiful poems for someone she didn’t even know. Suddenly loosing her appetite she pushed the empty bowl away from her.

 

Ben was scratching the back of his neck and looked at her with an unreadable expression.

 

“I guess there is nothing we can really do about it. I mean, if it wouldn’t be so weird I would have suggested…”

 

“Yes?” Rey looked at him expectantly.

 

He shook his head and made a gesture with his hand that signalled to let it go.

 

“Nothing. I guess we’ll have to make a doctor’s appointment.”

 

“Oh.”

 

She looked at her notebook and tried to swallow her disappointment. What had she been thinking? It wasn’t like he would suggest doing it the traditional way.

 

_Get a grip, girl._

 

“Sure, I’ll call my doctor.”

 

The rest of their breakfast was quieter. Both of them wrapped up in their own thoughts, dwelling on their unrequited feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank you all for your nice comments and support. I'm currently a little stuck, which is a reason for this late update, but I hope that I'm able to continue pretty soon. 
> 
> Also visit me on tumblr, I'd love to hear from you: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/meadowhayle
> 
> In case you are wondering the song Rey picked for Ben's alarm clock is "Like a prayer" by Madonna


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They aren't idiots in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! I updated before Christmas. Whoop, whoop!

He was an idiot. A complete and utter idiot. As he replayed their conversation in his head he realized just how badly he had fucked up. Rey had been eyeing him so expectantly and he had chickened out. Maybe she would have said yes. The possibility drove him mad.

 

He was at home pacing his living room, trying to come up with an idea on how to ask her for real this time. The main problem was his embarrassment over the whole situation. If she would somehow realize that he had feelings for her, he would just die on the spot or hope the ground would swallow him.

 

Then again he had given it some thought. Would he be in the situation with his best friend, whom he _didn’t love_ , he would also suggest impregnating her the traditional way and taking her virginity.

 

With Rey however logic didn’t really work. Anxiety took over whenever he thought about opening up to her. Frustrated with himself he grabbed his hair and pulled. It was now or never. He had already wasted a week worrying about it and now Rey would visit the doctor tomorrow. He had to talk to her beforehand.

 

Glancing at his cell phone to check the time he realized Rey would have lunch break in half an hour. Enough time to get to her and ask her then. Determined and nervous he headed to his car.

 

When he entered the big office he saw that most of the spaces were already empty, a few people heading past him to get to the stairs. From afar he could see Rey and Rose sitting together at their desks, talking to each other.

 

He approached them slowly and they didn’t notice him, too caught up in their conversation.

 

“So you are having the doctor do it?”

 

Rey shrugged.

 

“I have no other choice. There was a moment, when I thought he would ask, but he didn’t.”

 

“Hm, maybe _you_ should ask him then.”

 

“I don’t want to make him do it. I feel like he might agree just so I won’t be a virgin giving birth.”

 

Ben had had trouble catching what they were talking about, but now it hit him with such force that he nearly made a noise. Rey wanted to have sex with him? Okay, maybe she just didn’t want to give birth without having sex beforehand and would prefer a natural conception. Still he couldn’t help the joy warming his body.

 

Rose put a hand on Rey’s shoulder affectionately and sighed.

 

“I’m sorry. If you want to I can talk to him.”

 

Rey huffed.

 

“That’s kind of you, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. We didn’t even agree on telling you guys, yet.”

 

Feeling as though he had pressed his luck of being undiscovered long enough he took a few steps back and then walked towards them in a faster pace.

 

“Rey?”

 

Startled she turned around a blush spreading on her face, while Rose looked at him with a nervous smile.

 

“Hi, Ben,” she greeted and quickly shuffled closer to her desk again.

 

Rey eyed him carefully.

 

“Why are you here? Visiting your mom?”

 

“Actually I wanted to see if you’d be interested in taking lunch with me.” He licked his lips and Rey nodded.

 

“Uhm, sure. Yes, but Rose actually wanted-“

 

“Oh, no. You two go without me. I actually forgot I wanted to do something…” she trailed of and her eyes basically pleaded at Rey to leave already. Her friend took the hint.

 

“Of course. Alright, I’ll come with you.” She smiled anxiously as she walked to him.

 

 

“That’s a really nice surprise.”

 

She was tense, even Ben could tell.

 

“Yes,” he said as they walked out of the office and headed into the direction of the food trucks. “I’ve actually been thinking about the whole agreement.”

 

Rey paled suddenly. “Did you change your mind?”

 

Ben let out a nervous laugh.

“No… no, I didn’t.”

 

He took her hand and squeezed it affectionately.

 

“It’s something else. Uhm, I’ve been thinking about the whole virginity thing.”

 

“Ben, I’ve told you I’m okay with it. Please stop worrying. It might not be optimal, but you can’t change my mind. I will have your baby.”

 

The proud way she said it made him blush and when he looked at her again he saw that her cheeks were red as well.

 

“I know. I’m not trying to change your mind. Actually it’s...”

 

He huffed.

 

“I’m going to suggest something and you can totally say no, but please consider it for a second.”

 

Rey nodded, eyeing his every move now.

 

“We could take each others virginities.”

 

Her eyes widened and then she suddenly started laughing.

 

From all the reactions Ben had imagined, this wasn’t even in the top three. Stunned he stood still and looked at her.

 

“Sorry,” she said. “It’s just, I’ve been thinking about it too and I was really worried to suggest it, but now that you did I’m so… relieved.”

 

She put her hands on her cheeks. “Sorry. Yes, I would like that. I mean it’s the logical thing to do, right?”

 

He nodded on response. “Definitely.”

 

Rey let out another laugh. “Good. I’m actually starving. What would you like to eat? I need some tacos.”

 

And just like that his best friend Rey was back again.

 

 

They texted throughout the rest of the week, making sure they were prepared for the weekend. Ben cleaned his bedroom, changed his sheets and even contemplated decorating with some flowers and candles, but felt as though that seemed to forward. He was so nervous, that he read up on sex tips on the internet and even contemplated calling Poe or Hux to talk to them.

 

Even though he was giddy his motivation went through the roof. He was so ambitious that he wrote two new chapters of his book in three days and finished planning the next five in detail.

 

Rey called him after her doctor’s appointment, letting him know that her body was ready to have a baby and she even knew how to keep track of her circle now.

 

When Friday finally came and Rey parked in front of his house, Ben was more excited than ever before in his life. He greeted her with a hug on his doorway and both of them blushed and were suddenly interested in the floor.

 

“So…” Rey started and eyed him nervously, fiddling with the handle of her overnight bag and biting her lip. “How do we do this?”

 

Ben let out a breath. “It's a bit awkward, right?”

 

Nodding his best friend tugged her hair behind her ear. She had thought about it a lot and she was sure that she wanted to do everything with him, not just the act itself. She wanted kisses and touches and completely unnecessary oral sex. Simply the whole package.

 

“I feel like we might be more relaxed if we didn’t set our goal to actually doing the main act tonight. I mean… it might be better to get used to each other first.”

 

Ben smiled timidly. “We’ve been friends for years.”

 

Rey returned his shy smile, but stuck out her tongue. “You know what I’m talking about.”

 

He nodded slowly. "Of course. So, you imagined… some kind of…foreplay?”

 

Suddenly something occurred to him and his expression became serious again.

 

“Wait, is there something you wouldn’t want to do? Is kissing okay?”

 

Rey chuckled and let go of her bag, placing it next to her. “I think it’s kind of essential, Ben.”

 

Relieved he nodded. “I just… we didn’t talk that much about it and I wasn’t sure if you had boundaries.”

 

“Let’s just go with it and see what we like and what not.” She moved closer to him while talking, touching his upper body and her intent was clear to him, when she raised her head to look at him.

 

Swallowing he eyed her lips, like he had a thousand times before, but this time, when he leaned closer she moved up as well and they kissed for the first time.

 

To say he was shook was the understatement of the year. Her lips were soft and better than anything he had imagined. He could die happily now. Groaning softly he let his hands span her waist and Rey was apparently enjoying it as well. She had her arms around his neck and was becoming bolder with every passing second. Soon their lips were swollen and their breathing was laboured, coming out in short gasps.

 

“Maybe, I was wrong. I feel like we are pretty good at this? What about you?”

 

Ben hummed in agreement, pulling back slightly to get a better look at her. “Still I think we should take things slow. We have the whole weekend after all.”

 

Rey blushed and took a step back. “You are right… I was feeling like taking a dip anyways.”

She moved to pick up her overnight bag again and headed to the bathroom.

 

“First one in the Jacuzzi get’s to pick tonight’s movie,” she said and quickly closed the door, after winking at him.

 

Ben let out a breath he had been holding. This weekend was going to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful for all your kudos and comments and just reading this stuff that my brain makes up, so yeah: Thank you.  
> Have a nice Christmas, a happy new year and do what you love :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want a hot tub, too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I don't feel very confident writing smut. Like I know it's not horrible, but it also took me quite a while to do this. Still here you have it. Next chapter will follow soon. Sorry for the delay.

His hands were sweating as he stood in his bedroom. From this position he had the perfect view to his backyard, where Rey was currently entering the Jacuzzi, clad in the most scandalous two-piece swimming attire he had ever seen her wear.

 

They had used his hot tub from time to time and he was sure Rey had previously been wearing swimsuits that weren’t revealing at all. Swallowing he stood close to the window and wiped his hands on his swimming trunks. He felt like a child on Christmas day and had to remind himself that he was an adult and their arrangement was only that – an arrangement. No real romantic or sexual relationship would bloom from this, at least in the worst-case scenario. If he would somehow be able to seduce Rey and get her to like him back… it would be heaven. No denying that.

 

Their kiss just now had left him wanting and the prospect to actually join her in the water made his heart rate pick up. He could only hope that she enjoyed his touch as much as he enjoyed hers.

 

Taking a deep breath and deciding he had spend to much time for someone who just had to pull on some trunks he took a last glance into the mirror to check his appearance and went down again with steady but nervous steps.

 

It was pleasantly warm outside and the sun was shining in golden rays, dipping his garden in a wonderful hue. Rey was smiling at him, when he walked towards her. She sat on the edge of the tub, bathing in the afternoon sunlight and letting her wet skin dry again. Like a goddess the golden shimmering bikini accentuated her smooth sun kissed skin and drew attention to her perfect body.

 

Ben tried hard not to stare and was grateful that Rey let herself glide into the water again and crossed the space between them to make him join her. There was determination in her eyes and he appreciated her bolder nature. Even though they were both inexperienced, she seduced him like she had never done anything else in her life.

 

“Come on in,” she said and took his larger hand, pulling him forward. He complied and entered the water with shaking legs. Unsure what to do he stood unmoving, both of them looking at each other. He caught Rey’s gaze trailing over his body and hoped she was at least slightly pleased. His hands twitched to reach out and touch her again, but he stayed put and waited for her approval.

 

Rey licked her lips and hesitantly put her hands on his shoulders. With slight pressure she signalled for him to sit down and he complied, immediately spreading his legs so she could stand in between them. Her hands trailed over his skin leaving a tingling feeling, which made him shudder. She pleased him so much already and so far her touches were completely innocent. It was probably the work of his mind he mused, which knew what was about to happen, plus the combination of being touch starved and in close proximity to the person he loved. Still he felt warmth curling in his lower half and was thankful the swirling water covered his crotch, because he felt pleasure coil in his groin and was sure he was at least half hard already.

 

Rey was biting her lip harder now. While she couldn’t believe her luck to finally be able to touch Ben more intimately, she also realized he wasn’t responding to her. His arms were hanging loosely beside his body, while he was staring at her with curiosity in his eyes and what she hoped was lust. Slowly loosing her confidence she looked anywhere but at him. Maybe she had misinterpreted his intentions. Was she too straightforward? Did he maybe just want to seal the deal and get it over with? Dropping her hands she leaned back slightly.

 

“Ben?”

 

He blinked suddenly as if coming out of a trance.

 

“Yes?”

 

She pursed her lips. “Is this alright or would you rather I’d stop?”

 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “No, I’m fine. Everything’s all right. I was in thoughts...sorry.”

 

His eyes flitted across her body and Rey blushed visibly as Ben swallowed, running his hand trough his hair. His unspoken compliment had her leaning closer again and she went to straddle him.

 

“Alright, I was just wondering, because you aren’t exactly responding.”

 

Blushing as well he realized what she was asking for and carefully grabbed her waist to steady her. How could she even think for a second that he didn’t want this?

 

Letting one hand wander he stroked her skin, watchfully grazing her hips, trailing over her flat stomach and lastly touching her face and cupping her cheek like he had seen people do in romantic movies. Rey’s smile was beautiful as she eyed his lips, while letting her hands roam his chest and neck. Ben was tingling all over and he was sure he had never done anything more arousing in his life.

 

Tentatively he brought her closer and she moved to straddle him, eyeing his lips. With a small smile he leaned in and then they kissed, slowly at first and then with more pressure, both of them catching fire, seeming to drown in their passion. Rey clung to him and got as close as possible, while his fingers splayed over her form keeping her in position.

 

His whole body was on edge and he felt like he could come just from kissing. He wasn’t sure if it was the water intensifying the pleasure, but he was so darn hard he was surprise Rey hadn’t accidentally bumped into him already.

 

And then she did.

 

Initially she had just opened her legs a bit to lower herself and that had made her centre brush against his. A strangled groan escaped him as they brushed against each other and Rey moaned against his lips. With all his willpower he tried to refrain from pulling her down onto his length again. They had agreed to take things slow and he didn’t want to push his luck. It seemed however that she had other plans, enjoying the feeling just as much as he had. With a groan she sank down again, letting his hardness rest against her ass. Flushed she looked at him, as if to make sure this was okay and the blush on her freckled face made him want to kiss every inch of her skin.

 

“Does it still feel like I’m not exactly responding?” he asked with a raspy voice as he held onto her. At his words her small smile widened into a grin and she couldn’t meet his eyes. He thought her shyness was adorable, because he could relate. It took all his willpower to look at her and not be ashamed for taking his fill. She was simply to good for him and he still marvelled at why she had agreed to this stupid idea.

 

“Hm, let me check,” she said suddenly and there was a glint in her eyes again. Deliberately slowly she moved her hips and brushed against him again, starting to hump him. “I’m very pleased with your response,” she bit out, clutching his shoulders, while he held onto her hips and guided her movements. It was too much. The stimulation of her body and the water was making him slowly, but steadily loose control of himself.

 

“Sweetheart,” his voice was strangled as he let out another groan. “If we keep doing that, I won’t last.”

 

Rey grinned, breathing hard herself. “That’s the plan.” She threw her head back in pleasure and increased her speed, just as Ben grabbed her behind to change her angle. The sensation of him touching her like that, with the added pressure his erection had on her clitoris, was enough to send her over the edge.

 

His name fell from her lips in a breathy moan and she trembled in his arms. Pleasure was shooting through her as she grabbed his shoulders for support and held onto them, burying her face in his neck.

 

Her reaction and the whole situation was so erotic that Ben followed her with a silent curse and spilled into his swimming trunks, taking laboured breaths as they both came down from their high.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, dun...


	8. Chapter 8

He ran a hand through his damp hair as he waited for Rey to come out of the bathroom. They had showered – separately, much to his dismay – after their little session in the tub. Ben was elated. Now more than ever he felt the need to touch her. It was like a dam had been broken. She was like air and he was barely breathing without her. But he held himself back, afraid he might seem too needy and push her away with his actions. They were supposed to take things slow and that’s what he planned on doing.

 

When she entered the kitchen, hair towel dry and fresh clothes on he couldn’t hide his smile. She was swaying slightly, moving her body to the radio he had turned on. The Cure’s _Friday - I’m in love_ was filling the room with noise, when she came to stand in front of him.

 

“Are you making us something to eat?” she asked nodding towards the ingredients splayed out on the counter.

 

“Actually, I thought we could cook something together,” he offered.

 

Rey raised an eyebrow. “We?”

 

Ben shrugged.

 

“You said you wanted to learn it. I’ll teach you.”

 

Rey huffed, but nodded determined. “Okay, what do I need to do?”

 

Ben chuckled silently and led her towards the cooker.

 

“First we have to cook the meat.” He carefully showed her what she had to do and soon Rey was grinning at him, proudly showing him the brown minced meat. He was busy chopping tomatoes, but stopped shortly and nodded with enthusiasm. “Good, now we add some red vine vinegar and some brown sugar.”

 

He handed her a spoon and placed the items in front of her.

 

“Sugar? I thought this would be savoury?”

 

“It is. But sometimes sugar adds to the flavour.”

 

Rey nodded with a frown. She was fascinated by her friend’s knowledge since no one had ever bothered to teach her how to cook. She was usually relying on Ramen and take out. Carefully she waited for further instructions before adding the right amount of sugar to the meat. So far nothing was burnt and Ben smiled at her eagerness and told her repeatedly that she was a fast learner.

 

The tomato sauce, which was supposed to go in with the meat, did nearly miss its aim and Rey accidently splattered Ben’s shirt with a few red dots. He didn’t seem to mind though, only shrugging the shirt off in response and showing her how to make sure there was enough salt in their food. Rey had a hard time keeping her eyes on the food with him parading his chest around like that. In the end she somehow managed to finish the cooking process, but she didn’t remember the rest of the recipe, her mind busy with other things.

 

Later they sat at the kitchen table, happily munching. Rey’s eyes sparkled as she devoured her last bite and Ben chuckled at the sight.

 

“This was awesome.” She licked her fingers clean. “I’m really impressed with your cooking skills. You need to teach me more stuff so I can cook healthy food for our baby. I want to be a good mom. Plus, you are probably the only person patient enough to teach such an unskilled person like me.”

 

Ben smiled sweetly.

 

“Don’t talk so bad about yourself. You are a good student. And don’t worry, you will be a good mom, no matter if you can cook or not.”

 

Rey grinned at his sweet reply and licked her lips.

 

“I’m happy you are pleased with me, Professor. Maybe we can skip to the next subject now? I was thinking about something a bit more physical?”

 

Her eyes trailed over his upper body and in response his eyes widened slightly.

“Sure,” he said gulping and quickly stood up clearing the table.

 

Rey was watching him, biting her lip in worry. She had meant to be seductive, but maybe she was just embarrassing. Their make out session had been so fantastic that she had thought they were naturals. And Ben had seemed to like it too, which was why she couldn’t understand his shy behaviour towards her. He was treating her like his best friend again and slight self-doubt gnawed on her. Her doubt however faded when Ben turned to her again and there was a hungry expression on his face. He wasn’t even realizing the effect he had on her.

 

“It’s weird again, isn’t it?” He sighed and Rey stood up nodding.

 

“Yes, I’m never really sure where we draw the line,” she admitted relieved he felt the same.

 

Ben fumbled with the kitchen chair, jaw working while he was thinking.

 

“I don’t mind your touch or kiss… seriously you can do whatever you want.” He shrugged and there was a blush on his cheeks.

 

“Yeah, I feel the same way,” she admitted nervously, focusing on the floor and only giving her friend shy glances. Apparently fuelled by her admission Ben took a step towards her.

 

“So, I can just kiss you whenever I feel like it?”

 

Rey looked up at him and found herself nodding.

 

“Okay,” he breathed out and slowly lowered his lips to hers.

 

There it was again. The spark she had been feeling was spreading, tingling, reaching as far as her groin and threatening to consume her. Gods, how would she ever stop wanting him after achieving their goal?

Apparently he had dropped the shirt, because she felt him sneak his hands around her legs, hoisting her up. She closed her legs around his body and kept kissing him. It was heady, all-consuming. This was all she had ever wanted, ever dreamed of and he was willing to let her have it, had even admitted that he liked her touch. Butterflies fluttered in her belly and she was vaguely aware of them moving. The couch. He was settling them on the couch, never letting go of her though. He simply came to lie between her legs and kept nipping at her lips, letting his fingers trail her jaw and roam through her hair.

 

Rey moaned, reassuring him. Her hands enjoyed the warm bare skin of his torso, while she humped against him, their groins rubbing against each other again. Suddenly Ben interrupted the kiss and backed away a bit, only to look at her.

 

“Can I…taste you?”

 

Rey sucked in a breath, the thought alone making her thighs clench. Eagerly she nodded and waited for him to move.

 

He leaned back, his fingers trailing around the hem of her shirt.

 

“May I?” he asked and tugged at it lightly. Not trusting her voice she nodded. Her shirt was off her in seconds and Ben took his fill, staring at her breast and making Rey blush with the intensity of his gaze. She hadn’t put on a bra and knew it wasn’t much to look at. Hopefully he didn’t mind.

 

Before she could dwell on the thought he brought his hands to them, at first touching them carefully, and then starting to explore them, stroking, tugging at her hard nipples and finally lowering his mouth to them.

 

Rey had always thought she wasn’t very sensitive in the breast area. Apparently she had been wrong. Under his ministrations she bucked and sighed all while her fingers roamed through his hair. She was sure she could come from this. Her panties were soaked and she tingled all over. If foreplay was this good, how would actual sex feel?

 

Ben was satisfied with his work as he watched her beautiful breast and swollen nipples. This was better than his dream, so much better. Breathing heavily he sat up again and looked at Rey. She smiled at him, a relaxed expression on her face.

 

“Was that okay?” he asked though he knew the answer.

 

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before? Must be a natural.”

 

He grinned in response and stroked her sides. Once again he sent a silent thank you to whoever listened. This was more than he deserved.

 

“Can we get rid of my trousers now?” Rey asked with a small voice, as if embarrassed by her request.

 

“On it.” He didn’t waste time. In a matter of seconds he had peeled her out of her pants and underwear and she was lying bare before him, her sex glistening with slick.

 

A groan escaped him when he took her in.

 

“Sweetheart…” He swallowed soundly. Slowly he brought his hand to her core and let his fingers glide over her. Rey’s immediate moan encouraged him and he did it again, moving his fingers in different ways until she was trembling beneath him.

 

“Ben, I’m going to-“ She didn’t finish the sentence, but she didn’t need to. Her whole body was spasming and she writhed, moaning with pleasure.

 

Ben could only stare at her in wonder. This was the second time he had given her an orgasm and he felt his chest swell with pride. Gods, he was sure there was nothing sexier than watching Rey come.

 

When her orgasm finally subsided she let out a small laugh and grinned at him.

 

“That was insane, thank you.”

 

Eyes trained on her face Ben smiled. “I feel like I should thank you for letting me do this and for letting me watch you. But we aren’t finished, yet.”

 

He lowered himself again and this time he did taste her. Rey squealed when he first licked her, but soon got used to the feeling. She let her fingers play with his hair while he grabbed her thighs, keeping her in place.  

 

Soon he had her coming again and this time it sent him over the edge as well.

 

Breathing hard he sat up, wiping his chin and grinning at her with sparkling eyes. Rey felt absolutely boneless. She was so sated, so relaxed that she felt like she couldn’t move a single finger if she tried.

 

“Sorry, just give me a moment. I’ll return the favour in a sec.”

 

Ben reached out and lovingly stroked her cheek giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

 

“There is no need sweetheart, I already…” he trailed of, motioning to his trousers and Rey’s eyes widened.

 

“You came from this? But I didn’t even touched you-“

 

“There was no need. It was simply very hot. You know?”

 

Nodding a smug grin appeared on her face.

 

“Fine then, but later.”

 

Returning her smile, Ben stood up and excused himself to clean up the mess he had made in his pants. Rey felt herself doze of and only woke up when Ben came back down again, completely dressed to her dismay.

 

“You wanna watch a movie?” he asked and gently stroked her hair. Nodding slowly she sat up and reached for her clothes.

 

“Sure, I mean it’s still our best friends weekend so we can do normal stuff too, right?”

 

Nodding Ben turned on the TV and handed her the remote.

 

“I’m going to make us some popcorn.”

 

After putting her clothes back on Rey went to the bathroom to pee and clean herself up as well. While looking at her appearance in the mirror, she couldn’t help but smile to herself.

 

She had the feeling that maybe she had a chance with Ben. Maybe there was a way to make him fall for her. Even if she had to use her body for it, she was determined on making him hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how they are both obviously on the same page without knowing they are on the same page. 
> 
> Lots of love and thank you all for your support!
> 
> Have a nice day :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No pain, no gain.

When they had first met they hadn’t liked each other. Rey could vividly remember Ben’s annoyed expressions and his snarky remarks at the beginning of their first semester. It had been heated between them, but once they had gotten to know each other, they had realized that it had all been pride and prejudice.

In the end they had started to click and Rey had soon found herself falling for the tall, intelligent man, whom she also considered her best friend.

It had started with innocent banters and flirty comments. They had sometimes hugged longer than necessary, held hands while standing next to each other and Rey had started to think that they were heading into the dating direction. Then came the day Ben had suddenly stopped being forward and with time every contact they had, had been completely neutral and amicable.

She didn’t know why or how it had come to this, but she knew that she was ultimately in the friendzone and couldn’t risk loosing Ben, because of her stupid crush. At least it had been a crush then. Now it was full blown love she felt for him and sometimes she hated herself for not stepping up sooner and asking him what had happened.

 

Silently observing his sleeping form she clutched the bed sheets while dwelling in memories. Last night they had both been to tired to do anything more after their little session on the couch, but Ben had asked her to sleep in his bed and she had agreed, eager to be close to him and pleased at the knowledge that he did not only want her for sex.

To actually sleep next to someone was the purest form of trust in her opinion and she had felt herself yearn for something real with him, a romantic relationship that did not only exist because of their wish to procreate.

 

Blinking at the sunlight, which was slowly streaming into the room, she contemplated waking Ben up, but she knew he had trouble sleeping at times, so she silently slipped out of bed, heading to the bathroom. After emptying her bladder and brushing her teeth she got a light cardigan out of her overnight bag and shrugged it on. Downstairs she turned on the coffee machine and stepped outside on the terrace, taking in a few breaths of morning air.

 

She still couldn’t believe her luck. Since yesterday everything felt so right. Touching Ben was what she had wanted for a long time and now she could. And he touched her in return, held her, kissed her. But of course she knew it was pretend. At least for him. And it left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Sometimes it felt so real, that she forgot they were only doing this to be co-parents. She still hoped there would be a way to make it real. Maybe once she was pregnant they wouldn’t stop doing sexual stuff. She would try to persuade him. He seemed open for advances and she hoped that she could make him see the benefit of having a relationship with her. If only she hadn’t waited so long. Maybe she would have had the guts to ask him out on a date. A real one. But as it was their relationship was too complicated and now with their goal of a child, she just couldn’t ruin the connection they had. If he didn’t want her, it would drive them apart completely and everything would be gone.

 

Sighing she went inside again and got herself a cup of coffee. She wondered when Ben would be up, but it was still early and she decided to wander through the house. The spare rooms upstairs where empty, only holding some pieces of furniture. Rey loved the one with the gazebo most. She always imagined reading by the window and listening to autumn rain.

This room would make the perfect nursery. At the moment there was only a desk, a chair and a few boxes in there. Curious she ventured through them, finding Ben’s poetry again. She knew them all, had read them from time to time, but there was a new book lying on top. Trailing her fingers over the heavy red cover she licked her lips. Ben had told her times and times again, that there wasn’t anyone on particular he had written them for, but to her it felt like there was. Then again she figured, that as his best friend she would probably know about a woman, who had stolen Ben’s heart. Shaking the thought away she opened the book. She was most certainly just being stupid and simply afraid of there being someone else. Plus Ben was a very talented writer and simply good at capturing emotions.

 

A noise from the corridor brought her out of her thoughts and she quickly tucked the book away again. She knew Ben didn’t like her snooping through his things, even though he never got angry with her.

 

Making her way downstairs she found him standing in the kitchen, filling his cup with the coffee she had made.

 

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” she teased and walked up to him, lying her head on his shoulder. “Did you sleep well?”

 

He hummed against her hair and she felt his hand on her back.

 

“Oh, yes. I especially enjoyed your chainsaw snoring sounds. Had to listen to them for an hour before I was able to blend them out. I don’t think I can fall asleep without them from now on. You’ll have to stay here forever. How does that sound?”

 

Rey’s heartbeat sped up even though she knew he was teasing her.

 

“Hm, don’t tempt me, you might regret it.”

 

She stepped away from him and stuck out her tongue.

 

He grinned in return, taking a sip of his coffee and opened the fridge.

 

“You want cornflakes for breakfast? I’m afraid I don’t have anything else.”

 

Nodding Rey took out bowls and placed them on the counter.

 

 

After eating in silence, she looked at Ben and found him staring at her. His dark eyes were trained on her face and the intensity of his gaze made her look away. Sometimes it was hard to remember that they were just friends. She was used to it already, imagining quite often that his stares were a sign of his love, but she knew better. Ben was her friend and she knew he could do much better than her. Honestly, she sometimes asked herself why he had stuck with her for so long. That man was every woman’s wet dream.

 

Hesitating for a moment she stood up and put their bowls into the sink. She had actually been wanting to talk to him, but had forgotten to do so the day before.

 

“I’ve thought about the moving in thing.” She took a step towards him, when he turned to look at her. “And I’ve decided that I want to do it.”

 

Ben’s mouth fell open and then it formed into the biggest grin she had ever seen on him.

 

“Truly?”

 

“Yes. You were right. My flat is too expensive and it would be much easier for everyone involved. So, yeah, when do you want me to start bringing my stuff?”

Ben stood up and scooped her up, spinning her around.

 

“Now. Let’s get into the car. We’ll pack the first box immediately.”

 

Rey giggled at his enthusiasm.

 

“Yeah, right.”

 

He set her down and looked at her with a pleading eyes.

 

“No, I mean it.”

 

Taking in a deep breath she blinked at him.

 

“Seriously? But what about…” she bit her lower lip as her face started to redden.

 

“About what?”

 

“The baby making.”

 

He shrugged. “Well it’s Saturday and there is enough time to do that later.”

 

There was a certain suggestive smile on his face and Rey bit her lip.

 

“You don’t think we are moving to fast?”

“No, it’s a good idea. I’m looking forward to us living together. Don’t you? Is that the issue?”

 

Rey shook her head. “No, I… I want it, too.”

 

Ben reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

 

“Good.”

 

 

They ended up packing four boxes. Rey had her old moving boxes stored in the cellar and Ben immediately got to work, getting them all up into her flat and helping her pack some of the things she wanted to get to his house. They mainly brought clothes, shoes, some books and her favourite alarm clock, a blue frog with yellow dots. Ben even tried to convince her to get more, but Rey assured him, that she needed time to sort some things out and would pack more stuff later.

 

Now she had enough clothes at his house to stay the whole week and he seemed to glow with happiness, when she agreed not to drive home on Sunday. Her boxes where tugged away in the empty room closest to his bedroom, which also happened to be the room with the gazebo. He had convinced her to store them there as long as her furniture wasn’t at his house yet. Generously as always he had also offered to store her clothes in his wardrobe, since there was a bit of space left. Rey didn’t do it though, because she knew she liked the idea of their clothes mixing a bit too much.

 

 

“You should inform your landlord that you are moving out. If you feel comfy with that I could try to schedule the moving to next weekend, but I guess a week later is also okay. After all you need time to pack and you’ll be spending the week with me, so… ,” Ben trailed of, becoming quieter. He hoped he wasn’t scaring her, but he was so excited for her to live with him. It felt like Christmas.

 

Currently they were standing in his bedroom and he was eyeing her while she was arranging her alarm clock on the nightstand and unpacked a few of her hygienic items. It felt domestic and simply right. Even if they wouldn’t get along later on and eventually move on to being just friends again, he would always treasure these days. He was living his dream.

 

“I **do** need some time to get things ready. So, yeah, please wait for me to handle my stuff.” She smiled at him sweetly and he just couldn’t help himself. He acted on impulse. Within seconds he was by her side, pulling her into a kiss.

She giggled against his lips while he pulled her closer and then she was kissing him back just as eagerly.

 

“I’m so happy you are moving in,” he admitted and for a second he was afraid he had revealed too much of his true emotions, but Rey smiled at him and nodded.

 

“Me, too.”

 

Her fingers trailed beneath his shirt and he sucked in a breath, looking at her questioningly. She smiled in response and Ben had the feeling his little seductress was back again. Rey pulled his shirt off and he helped her do it. With fascination in her eyes she let her hands trail his chest and he stood patiently, his fingers itching to touch her, but he kept still until she started working on his trousers.

 

“Sweetheart…”

 

She grinned as she cupped him through his clothes and he let out a curse.

Not caring what the little minx had planned he grabbed her, pulling her into another kiss. This was bliss. He didn’t need sex. This was enough to keep him at bay just as long as she would be willing to kiss him. If someone would have told him beforehand that this would happen he would have called them nuts, but now…

 

His best friend had other ideas however. Within minutes Rey was standing topless next to him and his trousers where pulled down to his knees. He shrugged them off completely while Rey took of her skirt. Then they were at each other again and Ben picked her up, moving things to the bed.

 

Rey was clearly having the upper hand, straddling him immediately and kissing him again. Meanwhile he snuck his hands to her breasts, her nipples screaming for his attention.

 

At her small gasp he smiled and tried to change their position, but she pushed him back onto the bed and crawled down until she was on eye level with his crotch.

 

His cock was straining for attention already, tenting his briefs and emitting wetness. Rey’s fingers grazed his bulge experimentally before pulling off his boxers with a huff. A blush formed on her face as she took her fill of his member, seeing it like this for the first time.

 

Then with a determined look on her face she suddenly surged forward and gave his head an experimental lick. Ben could only groan in response. He had never felt something like this and that Rey was doing it tripled the amount of pleasure the whole act gave him. Under hooded eyes he watched her, noticing the slight movement of her breasts, the pretty blush that had formed on her face and décolleté and the way her breathing had increased.

 

His goddess scrunched her nose slightly while pulling back, giving him a shy glance.

 

“It’s salty.”

 

Ben nodded. “Yeah, I know. You don’t have to do this, if you can’t stand it. It’s really not necessary,” he tried to assure her, but Rey shook her head.

 

“No, I want to. I want to know what it’s like. And the taste just needs getting used to. It’s not bad, just… different.” Without further explanation she took him into her mouth and didn’t move, trying to get used to the girth of him. Then she started sucking like she had read in the online forums she had been actively visiting the past week.

 

As a result to her ministrations Ben let out another groan and reached out to her, letting his hand caress her head.

 

“Oh, Sweetheart, you are doing so well.”

 

That term of endearment.

 

Every time he used it, her heart did a little leap. She just couldn’t help herself. To her it felt real. Everything felt real. And wasn’t he truly aroused by her, if he got hard like that?

 

Encouraged by his words and her thoughts she added pressure and used her hand to accommodate the rest of him, since she clearly couldn’t get it into her mouth. Wet sounds of her sucking and Ben’s occasional groans filled the bedroom with noise.

 

“Rey, I will come soon. Maybe you want to stop,” he suggested meekly and completely out of breath. Instead of slowing down however Rey took this as a challenge and only doubled her efforts. Her jaw was starting to feel uncomfortable, but she wanted to give him this experience, even though she wasn’t skilled at it.

Apparently she wasn’t doing so bad since Ben spilled into her mouth a few seconds later and she swallowed soundly, keeping him inside her mouth until she was sure there wouldn’t be more cum. Then she sat up and smiled at him. She felt proud at what she had accomplished. Hopefully it had been good for him, too. She would have to practice this more often.

 

The act itself had aroused her so much, that the insides of her thighs were coated with her own juices and she needed relieve badly. Without a second thought she shrugged of her panties and revealed her swollen sex.

“Come here,” Ben said eagerly and she complied, crawling up to him. He surged forward, propping himself up on a few pillows and pulled her into his lap. When their bare skin touched they both groaned in union and Ben touched her clit, making circular motions to stimulate her. Rey nearly wept. She was so on edge that within seconds she came, shuddering on top of him and steadying herself on his shoulders.

 

Afterwards Ben held her, giving her soft kisses and combing her hair with his fingers. He thought she was the most beautiful being he had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your continued support. I'm not really in a writing mood as of lately, but I'm trying to finish this one, without to many delays.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did someone ask for more smut? Here you go.

They had fallen asleep, both of them exhausted and content in their togetherness. Ben was the first to stir after the nap, waking Rey in the progress, who lazily raised her head to look at him. A dazzling smile spread on her face and she was positive that this was how she wanted to wake up for the rest of her life.

 

“We were out for nearly two hours,” her best friend grumbled after glancing at her funny alarm clock, his hair looking wild from his nap. “Are you hungry? We should get something for lunch.” He scratched his head and sat up slightly.

 

“No, I’d rather stay here and cuddle or…” she trailed of and let her fingers move over his still naked groin, which hardened under her ministrations. Within seconds he was half hard and Ben flexed his cock in response to her touch. Startled Rey sat up, looking at his genitals.

 

“Wait, was that a reflex or can you actually move your dick?”

 

Ben chuckled.

 

“I control it.” As if to prove it, he did it again and Rey’s eyes followed the movement with fascination.

 

“That’s awesome. I’m kinda jealous,” she said, letting her fingers trail over him again. She eyed him for a minute longer before her eyes moved to his face again.

 

“So now that you are up, I take it you wouldn’t be averse to putting this to some good use?” She smiled at him sweetly, while biting her lower lip and Ben’s eyes widened a little.

 

“I…yeah. But… it’s not a race, Sweetheart. We have time. Let’s take it?” he conceded and worked his jaw again, the universal sign for his thinking process.

 

Rey scrunched her nose, displeasure clearly written on her face. Obviously he was nervous and she understood why, but they had agreed and she was positive she wanted her first time to be with him. What if his insecurity made him change his mind now? Sighing she sat up and started fidgeting with her hands.

 

“You know our original goal was to get me pregnant, right?”

 

Ben nodded.

 

“Rey, I’m not saying no. I would just like to prepare you a bit better.”

 

Frowning she looked at him.

 

“How?”

 

In response he held up two fingers.

 

“I thought it might help to loosen you up first.”

 

Biting her lower lip she nodded in response. He was right. She had seen his size and was not really convinced it wouldn’t hurt even if she were aroused enough.

“Okay, so…you wanna do that now?”

 

“Well, yes, but I could use a shower and I thought maybe you would join me?”

 

Her grin made his heart leap and she even winked at him when she stood up, walking past him in all her naked glory, swaying her hips ever so slightly. Ben used the moment to appreciate the dimples above her ass.

 

“I’m gonna grab us some more towels,” he said quickly and stood up heading into the direction of the wardrobe.

 

Suddenly the doorbell rang and Ben frowned, irritated as to whom was set on ruining his perfect afternoon.

 

“I’ll see who is at the door,” he explained while Rey headed to the bathroom humming in agreement. He quickly threw on a pair of sweatpants and made it downstairs only to open the door to a very angry looking Poe.

 

“Is it true?” he asked storming inside, without waiting for Ben to invite him in.

 

“What are you doing here? What is true?” Ben asked and closed the front door, strolling towards him.

 

“Is Rey here?” He kept looking around, seeming somewhat frantically in the way he moved.

 

Ben sighed. “Yes, she is upstairs in the shower. And no, you can’t see her right now. What is wrong, why are you here?”

 

He crossed both arms in front of his still naked chest and looked at his friend, who shook his head an annoyed expression on his face.

 

“You don’t need to act like you don’t know why I’m here. You are making the biggest mistake of your life.”

 

Ben, who already regretted opening the door in the first place, could only roll his eyes in annoyance. Poe didn’t seem to notice.

 

“A baby? With Rey, of all people? I mean, come on. You must see how ridiculous that idea is. Mate, you are in love with her. You can’t just knock her up. You have to man up and tell her,” he grabbed Ben’s shoulder while talking, but Ben scowled and shook his hands off.

 

“Okay, first please keep your voice down, she doesn’t need to know that, and second I don’t know who told you about our arrangement, but it’s not your life and therefore not of your concern.”

 

Poe huffed.

 

“I kinda tickled it out of Rose, but it’s not her fault and obviously I know it’s your life, but Ben you can’t keep your feelings from her. If you have a child together and you tell her about your feelings you will just make things awkward. You have to get this off your chest before it becomes too complicated. Trust me.”

 

He looked at him and Ben saw the desperation in his eyes. He knew Poe meant well, but he really wasn’t interested in anything he had to say right now. After all Rey was waiting for him in the shower.

 

“I know, okay? I know. I’m just scared. If I do it and she doesn’t like me, the whole baby thing won’t happen and now I can live with her and our child and even of we aren’t together, that’s better than not seeing her at all.”

Poe sighed and shook his head.

 

“You are pathetic. I understand where you are coming from, but this is just you being cruel to yourself and I won’t be around to watch it.”

Poe’s words only fuelled his anger towards his friend.

 

“There is no reason for you to act like this. You were the one who told me, that Rey wasn’t interested in dating me. If you had just kept your mouth shut, I would have asked her out a long time ago. So excuse me if I hesitate to follow yet another suggestion of yours.”

 

Poe took a step back, shaking his head. “You are not going to blame this on me. I merely implied that the two of you were dating and she denied it and said you were just good friends. At the time I thought she wasn’t interested, but maybe she lied.”

 

Ben groaned and buried his face in his hands.

 

“I’m not in the mood to rip open old wounds so please… just leave. You are not helping at all and I just can’t deal with this right now.”

 

Poe sighed, still shaking his head. “Ben, I’m trying to help. You should really think about it. Rey deserves to know.”

 

“I’m not stupid, I know that, okay? Just… not now.”

 

Poe moved, heading to the door, eyes trained on his friend. “Don’t waste too much time, Ben. You will regret it.”

 

 

 

She had washed and rinsed her hair by now and was starting to wonder who exactly had been at the door to keep Ben from her for that long. After a while of just enjoying the warm water she contemplated getting out, but she didn’t want to disappoint Ben in case he still wanted to join her. He entered the bathroom a minute later and didn’t look happy at all.

 

“Who was that? Are you okay?” she asked pulling him towards her, when he entered the shower.

 

Ben sighed. “Yeah, it’s just… Poe was here and he knows about the baby thing. Apparently Rose told him and… yeah, he was trying to talk me out of it.”

 

Rey froze. “What? Why would he do that?”

 

Ben shrugged. “Guess he thought that it was a stupid idea and would put our friendship to the test and… I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it right now. Let’s not think about it, okay?”

Rey nodded, hugging her best friend to calm him, but also to enjoy his closeness.

 

“I want a baby with you and you want a baby with me and that’s all that counts,” she mumbled against his skin.

 

“Thank you,” he sighed against her neck and gave her a soft kiss on the wet flesh. His hands started moving on their own, seeking the comfort she was giving him and soon he was palming her breasts, massaging them gently and nudging her nose with his to claim her lips for some lingering kisses.

 

His little sunshine reciprocated, her fingers trailing over his chest and closing around his cock, while her face broke into a grin. Ben felt like he was dreaming again. The stress Poe had caused had him at edge and he was grateful that Rey hadn’t asked any more questions. Instead she was giving him comfort. One hand buried in his wet hair, while the other was stroking him, grabbing him tighter and quickening the pace with each groan that escaped his lips.

 

He had originally planed on wringing one or two orgasm from her, but now she had him coming all over her leg, panting like he had run a marathon, while the warm water cascaded down his back. Finally feeling somewhat relaxed again he blinked at her and bent down to kiss her once more. He hadn’t been sure what it was about her kisses, but now he knew it. The touch of her lips felt like coming home and her smile when she touched his face, made his chest feel warm and abuzz with love.

 

“My skin is starting to wrinkle. I guess we should get out soon,” she declared with a quiet voice and showed him her fingers. Silently agreeing Ben moved out of the way to let her out and then quickly started washing his hair.

 

Rey wrapped herself in a big fluffy towel and used his hairdryer to get her hair to a more comfortable level of dampness before letting it air-dry. When she was satisfied, Ben was already out of the shower, running around naked after drying himself of. He came to stand behind her, when she put the hairdryer aside and wrapped his big arms around her. Looking at her in the mirror he smiled and gave her a kiss against the back of her head.

 

“Now that we are out of the shower, I guess I should continue with my original plan,” he said slowly and undid her towel, letting it fall to the side. Rey sucked in a breath as the fresh air hit her soft skin, her nipples hardening immediately.

 

In the mirror she watched as Ben got closer and felt his front pressing into her backside. She shivered with anticipation as her core clenched with the same eagerness that her mind reflected. She felt him, all of him, and the sensation of his groin that nestled into the crack of her ass gave her chills in the most pleasurable way. How was it even possible for a human being to want another one that much?

 

As if sensing her thoughts Ben loosened his hug to grab her waist and started drawing circles over her skin. His hips ground into her backside again and Rey let out a moan when she sensed a gush of her own wetness coat her centre. Why had masturbation never been this good?

 

Dazed she let out a breathless groan and started fondling her own breasts. Meanwhile Ben’s arm had worked his way around her, his right hand seeking the bundle of nerves between her legs. When he found it, Rey shuddered and pleasure coiled in her belly. She felt Ben starting to harden against her back and couldn’t help but grin. Apparently all these women magazines had been wrong. It seemed like a refractory period was none existent for Ben. Then again she had also read that some guys where just way hornier when first introduced to sex. No matter what applied to her friend, Rey wouldn’t complain. She was so lost in the sensation of his touch that she was leaning against him, head thrown back and eyes closed. Only when he used his other hand to line a finger up at her entrance did she open her eyes and look at him with a heated gaze.

 

He watched her in the mirror, silently asking for entry and she nodded in response, licking her lips eagerly. Slowly he inserted one finger and Rey realized that it had been a good idea to do this. Even though she was close to coming and so wet that her thighs were coated with her own juices, she felt his intrusion and was slightly startled by the foreign sensation. Ben however let her adjust to the feeling, not moving once he was settled. Only when Rey smiled at him did he pull out again.

 

“Is that okay?” he asked sounding slightly concerned.

 

“Yes, it’s fine. I just need to get used to the feeling. But it doesn’t hurt or anything. I think you can add another one.”

 

Nodding at her reassurance he did as she asked and pushed into her again, with two fingers.

 

She sighed. It was good, but she definitely needed the practice. His dick would have probably been too much for her to handle. Now she got used to the feeling and enjoyed herself while doing so.

 

Much to her surprise Ben didn’t only pump into her, he also stimulated her clitoris with his other hand and Rey started to tremble after a few trusts. The best thing however happened when he accidentally crooked his fingers inside her.

Stunned at the sensational overload, Rey grabbed his arm for support.

 

“Yes, that… do that again,” she said breathlessly and he complied while watching her come undone in awe. A few seconds later she was a trembling mess and Ben had to hold her, because her legs would have given away otherwise. Shuddering Rey nearly wept in front of him, the pleasure being simply too much.

 

Only when she had calmed down did he allow himself to grin with pride. He still couldn’t believe that he was able to make her cum, that she was even allowing him to do so. Satisfied he gave her a kiss on her temple, his hard on nudging her hip. Sighing Rey turned to face him and tilted her head up to kiss him, but instead he picked her up with both hands and proceeded to carry her bridal style to the bedroom.

 

Carefully he sat her down on the bed and crawled between her legs, gently pushing them open. Rey let out a confused sound and propped herself up on her elbows.

 

“What are you doing? It’s your turn.”

 

Ben smirked. “Believe me, Sweetheart. I feel like every turn is my turn.”

 

Then he leaned down and nipped at her sex, while Rey stared at him with a surprised expression on her face. Only when he started sucking at her clit again did she finally let go and lean back. Flushed she bit back a smile, loving how willing Ben was to give her pleasure. After all they could have done the real deal a thousand times by now. Therefore it amazed her even more what kind of restrain her friend showed and how considerate he was towards her.

 

“Just one orgasm and then it’s your turn,” she murmured with approval in her voice and sank her hands into his hair.

 

Four orgasms later it was Ben’s turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so amazing. I read all your comments and try to respond to them and I just want you all to know that you are awesome. 
> 
> Also I'll be on vacation next week, but I want to keep writing and update more frequently - all the fanfiction writers, all the time


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know: I'm really sorry, about this one.

Bliss. Rey felt absolute bliss. There was no other way to describe the situation. Never had a Monday morning felt that good. Ben had spend the whole rest of the weekend pampering her and she had tried to make it up to him, but in the end she always felt like all the attention was on her. Not that she minded.

 

They had made out, gone for a walk, watched Netflix and cooked together and Rey had felt utterly blissful. Just like now, with Ben’s fingers on her sex, rubbing her so deliciously that she couldn’t speak full sentences anymore and instead only moaned and sighed against his neck. They were both kneeing on the bed, her hand wrapped around his cock, which was leaking dangerously. Then again they had been at it for nearly twenty minutes and Rey marvelled at how much more control Ben had over his body now. She was a shaking mess herself, her second orgasm approaching rapidly. With clumsy movements she tightened her grip on him and quickened her pace. Ben sunk two fingers into her and let his thumb circle her clit. It was amazing how fast she had gotten used to that feeling. Last week she had still been a nervous yet excited wreck at the idea of having sex with her best friend. Now she was addicted and they hadn’t even done the real deal yet.

 

Mainly that had been Ben’s fault. He had seemed kind of hesitant whenever she had tried to initiate more and a part of her feared that Poe had somehow manipulated him into thinking this was a bad idea, when in fact it was the best they had ever had. So yeah, he had always been quick to stimulate and penetrate her with anything but his penis. A pity really since Rey couldn’t get enough of touching the twitching and pulsing member whenever she got the chance.

 

To finally be able to explore the other sex was intoxicating. It being Ben was the biggest bonus she could get. And he seemed to enjoy what she did to him, always eager for her ministrations and so responsive to her touch.

 

Still they had silently come to the agreement to wait for the main event for both of them to be ready and well enough prepared. Even though Ben seemed reluctant, deep down Rey also feared she would get pregnant too fast and Ben would stop this whole thing they had going on. So maybe it was good that he didn’t press for more.

 

Ben crooked his fingers inside her and brought her back to reality as she shattered, her legs turning into jelly, while one wave after the other hit her. The rhythm she had stroked him with stopped as her body went into spasm and she tried to keep herself upright. Big arms curled around her as Ben hugged her, steadying her and covering her face with kisses. Rey breathed heavily, her whole body flushed and feeling like jelly. She needed a few seconds to collect herself and when she was ready, her fingers closed around his manhood again, working him with even more pressure than she did before and he groaned in response. She didn’t need to exhaust herself. Ben was coming all over her hip within seconds, covering her with his sperm, an act that somehow turned her on immensely. She felt marked by him, as if she were truly his.

 

They held each other for a minute and parted to clean themselves up with satisfied grins on their faces.

 

  

 

Rey arrived at work late, but in such a good mood that Rose immediately called her out on it.

 

“Someone got laid, hum?” the smaller woman said with a smile while raising an eyebrow at her friend.

 

Rey shook her head, while she shrugged of her summer jacket. “We are experimenting. Technically I still have my v-card.”

 

Rose raised an eyebrow. “I thought the goal was to get you pregnant?”

 

Rey bit her lip while she sat down on her chair, quickly turning her head around to make sure no one was listening in on their conversation.

 

“I know, but Ben wants to get me ready and I think he enjoys this whole fooling around thing as much as I do.”

 

Rose rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her coffee. “Fooling around. That’s exactly what I would call it.”

 

Her dark haired friend came closer on her chair.

  
“Seriously, Rey, one of you has to say something. I think he would agree to go on a date with you. That man is so utterly besotted with you, it’s crazy you aren’t dating yet. You should see the way he looks at you.”

 

Blushing Rey focused on her hands. She was starting to see it too. At least she was telling herself that he looked at her like he cared. But there was this little voice in the back of her mind whispering that she was completely wrong about him and a totally idiot for believing his feelings were more than friendly towards her. All in all it was too good to be true.

 

“I-I can’t do that. Not yet. And it would be weird to do this out of the sudden.”

 

Rose grinned, snapping her fingers at her. “I’ve got you covered. Finn just texted me about this party tonight at Rogue One. We won’t stay long obviously, since it’s Monday,” she made some gagging noises. “But you can totally invite Ben to go with you, as in ask him out. See it as a kind of exercise. So you can test his reaction and if he gets weird about it, you can still play the friend cart.”

 

Rey thought about it for a few seconds before nodding. “Okay, maybe I’ll ask him. Send me the details though. Last time we arrived there way too early.”

 

“Sure.” Rose winked at her and then Leia entered the office and they both got ready to start working.

 

 

 

Rey had been away for more than nine hours. At least that was what it felt like to Ben. Time was passing so slowly that he seemed to look at the clock every five minutes. It was agonizing. He hadn’t finished his last chapter yet and his editor wanted a call from him and yeah, he just couldn’t really function right now. His brain was drunk on Rey. She filled his every thought and though he really enjoyed that, it wasn’t very productive for his work. Sometimes he wished he had the balls to declare his love for her, start a real relationship with her and be happy for the rest of his life. Maybe that would give him self-confidence and let him focus on work.

 

When he heard her car finally pull up in front of his house, he pretended to be busy. Pathetic. That’s what this was. He reminded himself of a dog somehow.

 

“Ben. I’m home.” Home. He loved that she thought of his house as home. Feeling like the luckiest person on earth he approached her as she was shrugging of her shoes and before he could chicken out he kissed her.

 

He had wanted to do that for years. Greet her like this, that is. And the best thing was, that Rey seemed to enjoy it. She smiled against his mouth and touched the side of his face with her fingers.

 

“Hey.” Her forehead was resting against his.

 

“Hey,” he breathed in return. “Are you hungry? I made some avocado toasts and a small salad.”

 

Rey grinned and let go of him. “How Millennial of you. But, yes. I would like a bite or two.”

 

Feeling bold he squeezed her ass for the cheeky answer and she giggled in response. When had this become his life?

 

 

Half an hour later they were done eating and Rey eyed him like she wanted to say something, he could tell.

 

“Ben?”

 

He looked at her. “Rey?”

 

“Would you… would you like to go out with me?” The last part was said in such a rush, that he had trouble understanding it, but when he did his eyes widened.

 

“You mean like on a date?” He had tried to say it casually, but in his ears he sounded desperate and hopeful. Again pathetic.

 

Rey’s eyebrows rose and suddenly there was a pretty pink blush on her cheeks. “Oh, uhm…no. No, there is this party at Rogue One and Rose asked if we wanted to come too, so I thought I would ask you. It’s not a date really. The others will be there too.” Her cheeks were red and he bet he matched her look.

 

“Of course. I was just confused for a sec. Obviously dating...yeah. So uhm… we can go… to the party, if you’d like.”

 

She eyed her empty plate and she nodded. “I’d like that, yes. Just let me put on other clothes and get ready and we can go.”

 

Quickly she stood up and made her way to the dishwasher to put her plate away. It took her a few seconds before she went to take the stairs and only when she was out of sight did he bury his face in his hands.

 

It still hurt. After all these years he still couldn’t help but get his hopes up. Especially now after everything they were experiencing with each other. He had hoped that maybe, under circumstances she would come to like him more than a friend, but it seemed futile, a lost cause. It was time to start burying his feelings again and remind himself, that Rey would never be his. No matter how often he brought her to climax, he would never possess her heart.

 

He huffed once, before standing up and following Rey upstairs to change as well. The idea of going out had never really appealed to him, but maybe getting drunk wasn’t that bad of an option.

 

 

 

 

Rogue One wasn’t as busy as usual, it being a Monday surely helped and Ben sighed in relieve as they made their way over the dance floor to get to their friends who were positioned right next to the bar. Rey had surprised him today with going for a more casual look instead of the short skirts she usually put on when they went out together. Now she was wearing a tight fitted pair of jeans and a white tanktop. Still he couldn’t take his eyes of her.

 

Rose squealed when she saw them and waved at Rey, immediately pulling her away from the others.

 

Ben gave Phasma a nod and she raised her glas in response. Hux wasn’t there apparently, but then again he had never really been interested in dancing. Finn and Poe were currently standing at the bar, waiting for their drinks. Even though Ben didn’t feel like facing Poe again he needed a drink or two, which was why he headed for the bar as well.

When he came to stand next to Poe he turned to look at Ben and gave him a curt nod. Ben nodded in return, his lips in a tight line.

 

 

Meanwhile Rey was telling Rose what had occurred with a lot of regret in her voice.

“…and then I kind of chickened out. But the worst was, that Ben said something that sounded like dating was out of question and that’s just confusing because he sounded so hopeful when he asked if it was date.”

 

Rose palmed her face and sighed. “You had one job and you keep messing it up. Rey, you have to focus. Your guy clearly wants you and you should let him know that you want him, too.”

 

“That’s easier said than done,” Rey whined.

 

“I know, let’s get you some liquid courage,” Rose answered, pulling her towards the bar.

 

 

 

An hour late Rey felt much happier and lighter and all in all pretty fantastic. Rose and her had downed a few shots and now she was set on seducing Ben and telling him how she felt for him.

 

The music had gotten louder and more people were dancing now, making it impossible for Rey to keep an overview over her friends.

 

She was making her way over the dance floor, passing strangers and even colliding with Finn once, who was enjoying himself immensely, when she finally saw Ben. At first she couldn’t believe her eyes. She thought she was simply seeing another tall dark haired man, but stumbling closer, she realized it was him indeed.

 

He was on the further end of the dance floor with a redhead tightly clinging unto him. They danced slowly as if they were listening to their own music and Rey felt her insides starting to crumble. This was exactly what she had feared. It was like watching an accident. She couldn’t stop looking at them, but at the same time she wanted to run. Run far away, bury her feelings and move on. But she couldn’t. Instead she was rooted to the spot and her throat was tightening while tears formed in her eyes, threatening to spill over. Unexpectedly she felt goose bumps covering her skin and her insecurity came rushing back, causing her to feel nauseous. If only she could move and turn away already.

 

Suddenly Ben straightened, looking at the girl in front of him. She touched his cheek affectionately and titled her head up to kiss him and Rey didn’t stay to watch them kiss. For some reason she could finally move her muscles again and turned around immediately, making her way out of the club only to stumble into a tired looking Phasma standing close to the entrance.

 

“Rey, what happened?” Her friend ask when she saw her and Rey heard the concern in her voice. She tried to blink away tears, but her vision was too blurry with new tears filling her eyes.

 

“I want to go home, “ she responded as composed as possible and used the back of her hand to wipe over her face.

 

It was surprisingly cold outside, but that didn’t stop Rey. Making her way into the parking lot and fumbling with her keys, she realized she was too drunk to drive. Thankfully her friend had followed her outside.

 

“Girl, there is no way I will let you drive like this. Give me the keys. I’ll bring you home.”

 

Phasma waited for Rey to hand over the keys, unlocked the car and then held open the door for her.

 

The brunette sniffed, before she sighed in relieve. “Thank you.”

 

“You are welcome.”

 

 

As Phasma started the engine, Rey shrunk back into the passenger seat, wiping her face again. Her mind was busy, coming to conclusions about Ben and this girl. She had never seen her before. Had Ben been drunk or had he actually found someone better than her that easily?

 

In the distance she saw the lights of Rogue One lighting up the night. She had always liked watching light in the dark, but now there was no hope left and she felt insecure and unimportant. New tears rolled over her cheeks. She hoped that at least Ben was happy. 

 

“You staying at Ben’s?” her friend snapped her out of her thoughts as they entered the road.

 

A sniff.

 

“No, I can’t go home. Bring me to my flat.”


	12. Chapter 12

_Ben (22:10):_

Rey, where are you?

 

_Ben (22:11):_

Are you all right?

 

_Ben (22:18):_

I just talked to Phasma.

What happened?

Why were you crying?

 

_Ben (22:20):_

Please, Rey.

Did someone hurt you?

 

_Ben (22:40):_

I can see that you are reading my messages.

Please talk to me.

 

_Ben (22:41):_

Do you want me to pick you up?

 

He tried calling her two times after that.

 

_Ben (22:59):_

Will I see you tomorrow?

 

Another tear hit the pillow. She was lying on her small bed, phone clutched in her hand, the light it emitted illuminating her face. Even though Ben was not aware of his mistake, she could feel his alarm through his messages and as his friend she wanted to support him. She wanted to reach out to him and tell him, that he shouldn’t worry. That it would be fine.

 

But it wasn’t.

 

The last coherent thought before sleep took her over was that she hated not sleeping next to him.

 

 

 

Her head hurt as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the daylight shining into her bedroom. She had been awake for twenty minutes and had decided to call in sick today. She felt like shit anyways.

 

On autopilot she stumbled through her routine of washing herself and getting dressed. The coffee she made tasted horrible and she immediately caught herself missing Ben’s coffee machine.

 

Taking deep breaths she sat down and took a few moments to think over what had happened yesterday.

 

In the light of day things did look different. There was probably a good explanation for Ben hugging this other woman. Hell, Rey had been so drunk maybe she had imagined things.

 

Still there was doubt inside of her and with an alarming awareness she realized that maybe she wasn’t ready for the arrangement they had agreed on. She realized that no matter how often he assured her he would not meet someone she would always fear it. This wasn’t a fairy tale and Ben wouldn’t suddenly fall for her, when he hadn’t in all those years they had been together.

 

Sure they had both enjoyed their time together. But wasn’t sex different? Wasn’t that what all the other people in books and movies always said, that sex and love were two separate things?

 

Rey didn’t really know how to feel about that. She couldn’t imagine willingly being intimate with anyone other than Ben. What if he felt the same, because he lacked the experience as well? Maybe he loved her enough in a non-romantic way to promise fidelity for the time they tried for a child?

 

Rey sighed. Even in her head it sounded crazy. Still she didn’t dare give up on her dream. She had to find a way to make it work. She was good at waiting. And didn’t time heal all wounds?

 

Scolding herself she made a decision and texted Finn and Poe, knowing it was their day off. Then she poured the rest of her coffee into the sink and grabbed her keys.

 

Heading over to Ben’s home she silently thanked Phasma for taking a taxi back to the club and stood outside his house for seven minutes, pondering over how this would end. Would he even know what had caused her distress or would he be oblivious?

 

Nervously shifting from one foot to the other she rang the doorbell, even though the house-key was burning a hole into the pocket of her jeans.

 

When her best friend opened the door he looked tired, but as soon as he realized who was standing in front of him he stepped outside to pull her into a hug.

 

“Rey.” Her name coming from his lips caused her emotions to stir again and she felt tears well up in her eyes.

 

“Wait. Let me talk to you, please,” she said and tried to get out of the hug. Ben pulled back immediately and stepped aside to let her enter the house.

 

When they were standing in his living room he put his hands inside his pockets.

 

“What happened?” he questioned concerned.

 

Rey stalled, shifting her weight again. Time for the truth then.

 

“Yesterday I saw you with that other woman.”

 

He looked at her surprised. Clearly expecting something else.

 

“I don’t know what you saw exactly, but I was comforting her, because she had been crying.”

 

Anger curled in her chest. How dare he lie to her?

 

“You kissed her!”

 

Ben frowned. “I did no such thing.”

 

“I saw you.” She crossed her hands in front of her chest and started chewing on her lower lip.

 

“Rey, that’s not true. She tried to kiss me, but I told her to back off.”

 

Swallowing she looked at her feet.

 

“Rey, please. When I left the restroom I witnessed her boyfriend calling her names and behaving rather rudely towards her. She started crying and I offered her a handkerchief. Then she kind of dragged me onto the dance floor. She was pretty drunk. I swear I’m not interested in her. I simply felt like I couldn’t just leave her. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

 

He came closer and Rey huffed.

 

“Fine. But I’m still mad and unsure about this.” She motioned between the two of them.

 

Ben stilled. “What do you mean?”

 

She let out a deep breath.

 

“This arrangement we have… I need to overthink it. I’m not sure how this will work for me. In the end we’ll share a child and I think I was acting too quickly when I decided to move in with you. It might be better if we try to keep this professional.”

 

His eyes told her exactly what he thought. He definitely wasn’t okay with her decision, but Rey didn’t stop to comfort him. She needed to get this off her chest.

 

“I texted Finn and Poe on my way here and they will be here soon to help me pack.”

 

Ben’s eyes widened, realising how serious she was. “Rey, please reconsider. You can stay here. This is your home, too. There is no need to rush things now.”

 

She shook her head, tears welling up again. “No, this is how I want it. Please don’t make this worse for me than it already is.”

 

Ben was working his jaw, clearly trying to deal with the situation and failing. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and moved towards her, his gaze softening while he did. So close to him Rey felt her resolve crumbling. If the man she loved wanted her to stay maybe- No, no. She deserved the time to think about this. She deserved to be in a relationship with someone who loved her.

 

“Forget about our arrangement for once, okay?” Ben said as if he were reading her thoughts. “This is about us. I love you. I want you to stay.”

 

Her breath hitched as her lips trembled dangerously. Why couldn’t he respect her wishes? He was giving her hope, when there really wasn’t any. His words were a sign for their good friendship, not the love she longed for.

 

“Please don’t go this way, Ben. Let me decide, what’s best for me. I will call you. I promise. I just need time to think about everything.”

 

She took a step back and nearly fled from him, when the doorbell rang.

The two men said quick greeting words before following Rey upstairs. They carried box after box out of Ben’s house and he was standing frozen in the hallway not knowing how to fix this.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love your comments! They motivate me so much, which is why I didn't need a month for this chapter. Whoop, whoop. I know it's still a horrible situation with the two of them, but always remember: After the rain comes the rainbow ;)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the rain comes the rainbow.

Keeping herself busy with work, two weeks passed in which Rey managed to keep her calm. She spent her afternoons hanging out with Rose, usually shopping, talking and trying to get rid of the free time she had. Anything really so she wouldn’t think of Ben. Even though she seemed put together on the outside she was crumbling on the inside.

 

It hurt not to see him. She hated spending the weekends without him, even though the rest of her friends tried to cheer her up. Poe even tried to set her up with a colleague of his, but Rey immediately declined. She loved Ben and no one else would do.

 

On Friday of the third week she came home to an empty apartment. Rose had left the town to visit her parents and now Rey had to cope with herself. Sadness her constant companion she often drank to relief some stress and cried her eyes out from time to time. Today she felt slightly better and more in control of herself. Still the urge to text Ben was there. Just to ask how he was doing, if he was okay.

 

As she passed her small living room to get rid of her uncomfortable working clothes and slip into something more comfortable she saw her still packed boxes standing in the room and decided to unpack them. She needed to come to terms with her decision. There was no way she would move in with Ben again, no matter how much she wanted to.

 

Precautionary she put on her comfy pair of pyjamas since it was late anyways, went to the living room and grabbed the first box which contained a few clothing items. She had it cleared and her stuff hanging in her wardrobe again in no time. Way to feel productive.

 

Venturing back into the living room she opened the next box and stilled. This wasn’t one of her boxes. It was Ben’s. Poe or Finn must have accidentally picked it up.

 

Feeling overwhelmed she swallowed soundly. The books containing his handwritten poems had always been precious to her and she hadn’t even had the time to read all of them. She knew Ben didn’t like it when she read them, but they were so beautiful, that she decided not to care. Carefully taking out the newest one she examined the first page. Ben had used his calligraphy skills on the headline and it looked beautiful. He had even added little flowers and birds and it looked kitschy in a very romantic and pretty kind of way.

Next was the dedication page and what she read made her throat constrict.

 

_For the love of my life._

  

Staring at it she tried to make some sense of it. His works and poems were always romantic. Rey had never really understood how he could write something like this, if he hadn’t experienced anything remotely close to it.

 

Ben always said that there wasn’t anyone he was interested in. But his written words sounded true and sincere and there was so much pain in them that Rey couldn’t believe they were made up.

 

Turning the page she began reading. There was a date in the upper right corner and she frowned, realizing it was set years back, around the time they had become friends.

 

_Dear Rey,_

_I have decided to use this book as a kind of diary concerning my feelings for you. In a desperate attempt to therapy myself I will confess to this book instead of the real you, since I’m certain you would never feel the same for me that I feel for you._

_Maybe I should explain myself a bit better for the start._

_During the last few months we have become best friends and I value this friendship more than any other before. Still I’m afraid I like you a bit more than I originally planned and must admit that I’ve been wanting to ask you out for the most time of our friendship. There were moments, when I thought you might say yes if I asked, but my uncertainty held me back and now I regret not taking the chance while I still had it._

_I guess with my faineance I actively put myself into the friendzone and I shall suffer in silence - at least in front of you. My feelings will stay in this book and I can only hope that you will never read it, for I would surely die of embarrassment._

_I’m not sure yet how frequently I will get to write, but for the very first entry I feel like this admission is sufficient enough._

_Secretly yours,_

_Ben_

Rey gaped at the page in front of her. She couldn’t think. She didn’t understand. Her brain was currently afk and all she could do was read his words again and again.

 

Nervously licking her lips she tore herself out of the action and turned the page. Surely enough another entry was waiting for her, waiting to be read. She scanned the contents without really reading them and immediately took the book and flipped to the very last page with written content. The last entry was three month ago and she didn’t read much, but what she was reading finally hit her and her vision blurred while she tried to continue reading.

 

_Dear Rey,_

_I know this is becoming ridiculous. I’m certain you will never love me the way I love you, but I just can’t seem to let go of that tiny spark of hope I have left._

_Whenever someone mentions we would make a great couple my chest swells with pride and I’m desperate for a reaction from you. Instead you usually smile politely and I never know if you are secretly embarrassed or maybe not that averse to the idea as it seems._

_You see I am a hopeless case. Trying to read something into your every mimic, when deep down I know I’m your best friend and nothing more._

 

That was where she had to stop reading. Tears rolled down her face and she was sobbing so hard that she had to close the book so she wouldn’t ruin it with her snot.

 

Pain. She felt pain and mostly regret.

 

Ben loved her. He actually, truly loved her, had done so for years. Just as much as she loved him and they had told each other repeatedly without knowing the other meant it in the same way.

 

The tears intensified and she nearly choked on her own spit.

 

If Ben loved her then their whole arrangement must have been a desperate attempt to be closer to her. Just like she had used it as a way to be intimate with him.

 

They were both idiots.

 

Now that she knew it was clear to her, that it was true. There was no need to deny his feelings. Everything he did for her showed he loved her. She had just always assumed it wasn’t romantic love. But now…

 

Right. She needed to do something about it now. Ben didn’t know that she knew. Wiping her face with the sleeve of her cardigan she took the book and stood up, still crying.

 

She needed to go, she needed to tell him, she needed to - she needed to take a shower. Really, her hair was close to being disgusting, she hadn’t shaved during the last weeks and she longed for a fresher taste in her mouth. If she declared her undying love to Ben she wanted to do so while not looking like someone who had just cried a river and not showered for days. Plus, if everything went well they might actually make out or venture even further and finally loose their virginity to each other.

 

Nodding to herself she snuffled and wiped new tears away. A determined look at her phone told her it was six thirty. Enough time to stop crying and get ready.

 

 

 

Ben barely functioned. He had called in sick at work and slept for the most time of the day. If he didn’t sleep, he took long showers and wrote sad poetry. It was disgusting how broken he was and he hated himself for not being more in control of himself. Hux and Phasma had come to visit once, but he had been an emotional wreck and they had excused themselves after an hour of one-sided conversations.

 

He needed Rey. He wanted her back in his life. Hell, if he could turn back time he would willingly delete all the intimacy that had happened between them if he could just have his friend back.

 

But she didn’t call or text and staring at her contact in his contact list didn’t help either. He often typed messages to her, only to delete them again and never send them.

The only person who called him from time to time was his mother and he had successfully gotten rid of her, when he told her he was busy with work.

 

So instead of spending his weekend with Rey he had gone jogging and was now sitting on his couch after another long shower. It was dark in the living room. He couldn’t bring himself to turn on the TV. Even sitting on this very couch reminded him of what he had done with her and it hurt. If this woman at the club hadn’t... no, he couldn’t blame her. In the end it had been bound to happen. Rey hadn’t been ready and he understood that very well. She was so young and pretty and she could do a lot better than him.

 

His doorbell rang and pulled him back into reality. Confused he stood up, turning on the lights on his way to the door. It was nearly eight. Had his mother decided to visit without a warning?

 

He reluctantly pulled the door open and couldn’t believe his eyes. Sure enough Rey was standing in front of him and she looked nervous, but great as always. Gods, how much he had missed her. Just looking at her like that was a treat for him.

 

“Hi, Ben. Can I come in?” she asked politely a shy expression on her face.

 

Nodding Ben stepped aside, unsure where this was going. Did she come to talk? Would she finally end their friendship? Had she maybe missed him too?

Nervously closing the door he followed her into the living room where she stood instead of sitting down and turned to face him. She was clutching a book he hadn’t noticed before and now that he looked at it he realized what it was.

 

Eyes widening he stepped forward.

 

“Rey, I can explain tha-“ Her fingers were on his mouth, stopping his words from flowing out.

 

“Please just answer me one question.”

 

He nodded silently and she dropped her hand.

 

“Is everything you wrote in here true?”

 

He looked at her as if considering not to tell her the truth, but then nodded again, a solemn expression on his face.

 

Rey in return smiled and that smile grew into a full on grin, which confused him, but also made his hope swell.

 

“Good.”

 

And then she was on him, her lips colliding with his’ and though he was surprised at first he returned her kiss immediately, not wanting to let this opportunity slip. Hands tangled into his hair and Rey groaned into his mouth as he slipped his hands towards her ass and pulled her legs upwards to straddle him. Sucking on her lower lip Ben thought he was in heaven. He wasn’t really sure what was happening and why, but it was clearly delicious and he didn’t want it to stop anytime soon.

 

It did though, when Rey pulled back to get some air. She was breathing heavily and smiled down at him.

 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.” She moved, loosened her legs around his waist, coming to stand in front of him, still in his arms.

 

“I actually came here to talk and… yeah, it escalated.”

 

Ben nodded again, still to afraid to use his voice. Rey looked serious again, probably as nervous as him.

 

“I didn’t read all of it. But I read enough to know that I’ve probably been in love with you for as long as you have been with me.”

 

Ben’s yaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

 

“I’m in love with you. I have been since forever and I always thought I was in the friendzone,” Rey explained again, then came to chew on her lower lip.

 

The feeling of joy, which was bubbling inside of him, was enough to make him laugh out loud. Turning as if to grasp the situation by getting some space he raised his hands to his head and then turned around again to look at Rey a smile on his face.

 

“Truly? We have been both pining the whole time?”

 

Smiling she nodded. “Seems like it.”

 

Letting out an amused short breath he walked towards her again and bent down slightly, giving her long kiss, which was reassuring and simply felt right. When he let go he was smiling at her.

 

“Okay, so since we love each other…would you like to be my girlfriend?” He still sounded unsure.

 

Rey grinned.

  
“Years Ben, years! At this point I would accept a marriage proposal, that’s how badly I’m into you, okay?”

 

He blushed, but raised an eyebrow and nodded.

 

“Good to know. Though I might be saving that for the right moment. I mean we haven’t even been on a date yet.”

 

Rey slid her arms around his neck and his hands came to rest on her hips.

 

“True. Though I feel like we are way past second base by now, which is pretty unheard of for a couple who hasn’t even dated yet, too.”  

 

He nodded again, his gaze focused on her.

 

“Yeah, horrible. What will the people think?”

 

“Good thing I don’t give a fuck what people think,” Rey answered.

 

Ben chuckled, then turned serious again. “I’ve missed you. The last three weeks were terrible.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry. I was just as miserable,” she agreed with a sincere voice. “But I plan on making it up to you.”

 

He kissed her forehead.

 

“I feel like you already did.”

 

Rey grinned at him.

 

“I have something even better in mind.” She gave him a wink and grabbed his hand, slowly leading him towards the stairs.

 

”Would you like to take this to your bedroom?” she asked and his smile was answer enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself. Smut is coming.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut. You're welcome.

Ben followed her, still completely overjoyed. The level of happiness within him was so high he felt like he could literally take on anything.

 

Rey was with him again and her presence alone was enough to keep him happy.

 

Without another word they entered his bedroom and she turned towards him, grinning so brightly, that it was obvious she was just as delighted as he was. Ben still couldn’t believe that this angel was in love with him, that all these years she had silently yearned for him as well. Warmth spread through him whenever he thought about it.

 

As they were staring at each other no more words were spoken. Instead they both leaned in slowly, taking the time to enjoy the anticipation and then their lips met.

 

It was a soft kiss, turning into a series of kisses, which grew more and more passionate with time. Rey was the first one to become bolder, sliding her tongue out to graze his lower lip. Encouraged by her action he slid his arms around her, pressing her against him. Her breath quickened and he grinned when she started rubbing herself against the bulge forming in his trousers. He had missed this, had missed her. During the time without her he hadn’t even laid hand on himself, simply being to depressed to even get into the mood to do so.

 

As pleasure shot through his body caused by her movements he slipped his hand beneath her dress, slowly drawing up her skirt, fingers skimming lightly over her firm behind, before coming to rest at her hip.

Rey complied, pulling her dress over her head in one single move and tossing it to the side, uncaring where it landed.

 

Ben couldn’t help but stare at her body. She still had the loveliest tan, freckles grazing her skin in areas he was clearly fascinated about, but what actually made him look smug, was her underwear.

 

“Did you plan this?” he asked motioning towards the matching set of lace she was wearing.

 

In response she blushed and shrugged her shoulders.

 

“A girl can hope, right?” She turned around showing him the detailed back as well. “Rose made me buy it after our argument. I guess a part of me hoped that you would get to see it.” She looked at him, while biting her lower lip.

 

“Remind me to thank Rose. I can assure you I am more than pleased I get to see it, but I would also not mind seeing you out of it,” he complied, touching her shoulders gently. In response Rey grinned before kissing him again and got to work on his shirt. She tried to pull it up without breaking the kiss, which turned out to be damn near impossible, so Ben decided to help and soon enough he was shrugging his trousers off as well.

 

Now clad in underwear Ben took charge and picked her up, which resulted in a squeal from her. He carried her towards the bed bridal style and gently placed her in the middle of it. The anticipation he felt as well was written on his girlfriends face and he kissed her again before moving towards her covered breasts.

 

“I have missed the two of you,” he whispered, which earned a chuckle from Rey. With a question in his gaze he looked up at her and she nodded, moving her hands to open the bra with the magnetic clasp in the front. It fell apart revealing her pert breasts to him and he took his time to appreciate each of them. His breath tickled her skin as he leaned in to capture one nipple with his mouth and his hands kneaded and teased her other breast. The moan that tore from her lips was achievement enough and he felt his cock hardening.

 

Rey’s breathing became more laboured while he was sucking and caressing her and Ben started grounding his lower body into the mattress, seeking the pleasurable stimulation.

 

He kissed his way down her belly and when he reached her crotch he spread her legs further, revealing a dark wet spot on her panties. Fascinated he started stroking her legs, belly and even went as far to graze her behind, but being careful not to touch her where she wanted it most.

 

Knowing he was playing with her, Rey groaned, but he wouldn’t stop his teasing. Instead he quickly helped her out of her underwear, pulling it down her legs and spreading said legs again to get a better look at her.

 

She was dripping, her core red and swollen and so wet her juices started to run down her ass cheeks. Pleased with himself Ben leaned forward and blew on her sex, which earned him a squeal from Rey.

 

“Ben!” she exclaimed, the frustration so clear that he couldn’t help but chuckle.

Slowly he started his ministrations again, circling her lower body but never touching her sex. Meanwhile Rey was arching towards him and tried to move with his touch, so that he would accidentally graze her, but to no avail. He held her legs apart and blew his hot breath on her sex.

 

Finally he felt like he had tortured her and himself enough. Quickly he brought his thumb down on her clit, giving it a short stroke before removing his hand again. Rey bucked and moaned loudly.

 

Carefully Ben moved to give her breasts some more attention and she used the opportunity to wrap her legs around his lower half, grinding against him and wetting his drawers and lower belly from the outside.

 

“Oh, no, Sweetheart. You’ll have to wait. For now it’s my turn.”

 

As if it was of no effort at all for him, he removed her legs from his waist and used his bodyweight to hold her down. Now she couldn’t move her legs anymore and he looked at her frustrated, but flushed face.

 

“Please, I’m so close already. Just let me come once,” she begged and he crooked a smile at her while giving her nipple a tiny tweak.

 

“I’m not sure if you deserve that, Sweetheart. But I have to admit, I kind of enjoy your begging.”

 

Seeing her chance Rey’s eyes widened and when she spoke again Ben was sure she was determined on getting what she wanted.

 

“Please, Ben. I need your cock inside of me,” She arched up again, as much as he would let her in this position and he would have been a liar if he said that the sight of her wanting him wasn’t the most erotic thing he had ever seen.

 

“I want it so much. Please, fill me with your cum,” she continued and Ben swallowed. Okay, he hadn’t expected words out of porn to sound so promising, but since it was Rey asking for his load it was different he guessed. Leaning down he captured her mouth again and she buried her hands in his hair. There was nothing decent about this kiss. It was aggressive and loaded with sexual frustration and when he raised his head again they were both panting for air.

 

Struggling Rey managed to free one leg from underneath him and used it to rub against his crotch. Ben faltered as he felt himself leaking pre-cum and realised how close he was.

 

“Rey, maybe you want to-“ he started.

 

“I want you to knock me up,” Rey panted and that did it for him.

 

He had known he was just as close to orgasm as her, but he had thought he would be able to restrain himself. His body however had other plans, because her words send such a rush of pleasure through him that he couldn’t hold back anymore. Exclaiming stifled curses he came, letting his spend coat the insides of his drawers while he buried his face in her neck.

 

They stayed like that for a few seconds, before he lifted his head and saw Rey’s amused expression.

 

“I should spank you for this,” he murmured dryly and sat up to get rid of his now dirty underwear.

 

“Excuse me? I must have misheard. For a second I really thought you said-”

 

He silenced her with a kiss and threw his drawers on the floor.

 

“Do you want to talk or shall I take care of you?”

 

Rey pursed her lips, amusement still on her face. He saw her hungry eyes take in his naked form and blushed under her gaze.

 

“I was just thinking, if the whole pregnancy-related stuff is such a turn-on for you, do you have a daddy-kink as well?”

 

Ben looked at her with an incredible expression and shook his head. “I changed my mind, you really deserve a spanking.”

 

He moved so quickly that Rey squealed when he lifted her and turned her around. Suddenly she was lying face down on the mattress and Ben’s hands were splayed over her ass.

 

“I-I was just kidding,” she rasped and tried to turn around, but Ben sat on her legs. He was squeezing her ass cheeks, while Rey squirmed beneath him.

 

They had never really fought over dominance before, but Ben realized with amazement that he enjoyed himself. Especially since Rey encouraged him by being such a brat. They usually had fake fights like that outside of the bedroom, but this was new and exciting and he felt himself hardening, despite the fact that he had just cum two minutes ago.

“So, Sweetheart…” he trailed of and used one hand to trail the curve of her behind, before touching her swollen sex. Rey moaned in response and her breath hitched again.

 

Ben prodded her entrance with one finger, before dipping it in slightly.

 

“About that spanking…” He pulled out, but resumed the ministration of her sex, gently fondling her clit, while raising the other hand. Then without a warning he brought his flat hand down on her ass and Rey squeaked, wiggling under his hands. Her face was flushed and she was biting her lip when she turned around to look at him. Ben recognized the emotion in her gaze immediately. It was longing.

 

“Did you enjoy that?”

 

Rey shrugged shyly. “Would you be mad if I said I did?”

 

“No, just memorizing it for the future,” he admitted and rubbed her clit again. In response Rey closed her eyes and opened her legs a bit wider, the invitation clear.

 

Ben kneeled behind her and used one hand to stimulate her front while the other worked on her entrance. At first he only used one finger, not sure how much she was still used to. It had been weeks since they had done this and though he had been able to use two fingers inside her, he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.

 

But after a few thrust and Rey’s quiet moans for more he adjusted and was now slowly pumping two of his long fingers inside her. The sight and Rey’s response to him was so arousing, that by now he was hard again. While his erection started to strain in a painful way, he wanted Rey to cum at least once before entering her. Surely it would be easier for her that way.

Lust clouded his mind while he kept stimulating her and pondered how he had been so lucky to get a woman like her.

 

Under his caresses it didn’t take long for Rey to fall apart. She came with his name on her lips and her insides quivered, gripping his fingers and massaging them. Ben swallowed as he thought about feeling that with his cock.

 

Carefully he removed his fingers and grabbed her hips pulling her towards him. His erect member hovered above her behind and as he lowered himself slightly he started tracing the crack of her ass, leaving a bit off pre-cum on her skin. Rey was still breathing heavily, her mind obviously clouded from the bliss of her orgasm. Still she lifted her hips, encouraging him to enter her.

 

“Not like this, Sweetheart. I want to look into your eyes,” he said and Rey complied. With heavy muscles she slowly scrambled up and turned around to face him. Ben crawled up to her and gave her another kiss.

 

“I love you,” he whispered and watched her smile widen.

 

“I love you, too.” Rey looked at him with expectation written on her face. He could tell that she was nervous, probably as much as he was himself.

 

Carefully he lined himself up at her entrance, slightly rubbing his head through her folds. Rey closed her eyes at the satisfying feeling.

“I really don’t want to ruin the moment, but we haven’t really talked about it, yet,” Ben started sounding nervous.

 

“Do you still want to have a child with me?... I have condoms… we could wait and see how this relationship progresses.”

 

“Do you want that? Do you want to wait?” Rey asked frowning slightly.

 

Ben shook his head. “Only if you want to.”

 

Rey seemed to think about it for a few seconds and then shook her head.

 

“No, I meant what I said.” She started grinning again. “I want you to knock me up.”

 

Ben let out a relieved breath. “If you keep on talking like that I won’t last.”

 

She giggled and nudged her hips forward, signalling him that she was ready.

Kissing her again he entered her slowly and when he was fully sheathed he waited for her to adjust.

 

“Does it hurt?” he asked whispering and watched Rey tilt her head.

 

“Just briefly, now it’s just a foreign feeling and slightly uncomfortable, but I think you can move.”

 

He complied, going as carefully as he could. Rey shuddered with each trust, but her brows were still furrowed in discomfort. Then Ben had the idea to reach between their bodies and rub her clit. The result was instant. Rey sucked in a breath, before moaning loudly.

 

With little words and whispers of encouragement she urged him on to fasten his pace and Ben’s mind clouded itself with lust, Rey’s tight wet core gripping and squeezing him perfectly.

 

As he drove into her he chanted her name, never stopping his strokes on her clit so she would keep enjoying it as well.

 

Everything blurred around him as he felt his release approach. He was so focused on Rey and their joined bodies, that he couldn’t think straight anymore.

 

Afterwards he had no idea how he had managed to make her cum before him, but somehow he had. Rey was pulsing around him and her whole body shook as she moaned his name again. Ben followed suit, the whole new feeling around his cock too good to resist.

 

Panting they both lay in each other’s arms and Ben rolled to the side to get his weight off Rey. He was staring at her, stroking her hair slowly, while she cuddled into him and kissed his skin, wherever she could reach it.

 

“That was perfect,” she said and Ben felt his chest swell. Not only had he made her come at their first time, she had also agreed herself that it was perfect.

 

“I think so too,” he said and kissed her head, breathing in her calming scent. He didn’t care that they were both covered in sweat and body fluids. All he wanted was to hold her close.

 

With the comforting warmth of their bodies and the delighting knowledge of what they had just done, they both fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people,  
> this is actually the first smut I wrote that I am pretty happy about. I feel like it's not as passionate, but at the same time I think that makes it more realistic.
> 
> Also:  
> I'm actually not sure if I should just write the epilogue or add more chapters to this story.   
> What do you think?


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